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Jewish World Review Nov. 11, 2004 / 27 Mar-Cheshvan, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | The NFL signed a six-year deal with CBS and Fox Monday that will add Thursday and Saturday night games to the Sunday and Monday games. It's obvious what's going on here. Advertisers believe the more marriages they break up, the more beer they can sell.

Tom Brokaw got a judge to ban big game hunters from using land bordering his home property on Tuesday. He convinced the judge that the high powered rifles were a threat to his safety. His friends begged him not to buy a house in Washington D.C.

Bill Clinton warned Monday that Democrats won't be competitive until they are comfortable talking about their beliefs. This is the main reason why he thinks Hillary would make a great president. She has believed everything he ever told her.

Al Gore was named CEO of Generation Investment Management Monday and started soliciting investor money. He's off to a slow start. Half the people hang up on the former vice president because they hear his voice and think it is the dial tone.

John Kerry spoke to supporters at a Washington D.C. restaurant on Saturday and hinted he may run again. He's an incurable elitist. John Kerry is the only senator who's returning to Capitol Hill this week for the lame pheasant session of Congress.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2004, Argus Hamilton