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Jewish World Review Nov. 4, 2004 / 20 Mar-Cheshvan, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | President Bush beat John Kerry by several million votes Tuesday. Republicans increased their majority in the House and Senate. If it had gone any worse for the Democrats, Martin Sheen would have been replaced on The West Wing by Toby Keith.


Democrats expressed shock that the high voter turnout favored President Bush. The number-one reason people said in exit polls that they voted for him was moral values. Bill Clinton made one week of campaign appearances and cost John Kerry the election.


President Bush got twelve percent of the Hispanic vote in California and thirty-two percent of the Hispanic vote in Texas. He got sixty-five percent of the Hispanic vote in Florida. If he just keeps going east, he will eventually be elected King of Spain.


John Kerry barely lost in Missouri Tuesday after he virtually conceded the state to Bush three weeks ago. Bad idea. It was the biggest mistake since Bob Dole volunteered for the Viagra test group eight years ago thinking it would help him to achieve an election.


John Kerry supporters stood in the rain for seven hours waiting to hear from him Tuesday. It never happened. John Kerry refused to concede defeat but Hillary Clinton came to the microphone and thanked everybody for getting out of her way.

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