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Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2003 /18 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Robert Durst was cleared of murder by a Galveston jury Tuesday. He admitted killing a neighbor and chopping up the body but was acquitted anyway. The jury wanted to send a message to neighbors everywhere to start picking up after their dogs.

John Kerry fired his campaign manager Monday, prompting two more top staffers to resign in protest. So he does have a plan. John Kerry intends to keep firing his staffers until the national unemployment rate runs President Bush out of office.

Howard Dean was backed by the Service Employees International Union Wednesday. His union support is gathering steam. After reaching out to guys in pick-up trucks with Confederate flags in them he was endorsed the next day by the EIEIO. President Bush will stay in Buckingham Palace as a guest of the Royal Family next week. The White House has been driving Scotland Yard crazy with demands for extra security for the president. Everybody believes the worst about Prince Charles.

Hungarian-born billionaire George Soros gave five million dollars Tuesday to a group dedicated to defeating President Bush in the next election. He said the president reminds him of a Nazi. It's a despicable image to project but this president is not going to concede the nut wing to Pat Buchanan like his father did.

The Federal Communications Commission said on Tuesday consumers may transfer their home telephone numbers to cellphones. It's no cause for concern. It's long been rumored that cellphones cause brain damage but all Californians sound that way.

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