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Jewish World Review Nov. 11, 2003 /16 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Virginia prosecutors in the sniper trial of John Allen Muhammad introduced a Bushmaster rifle into evidence Friday. Al Sharpton is livid. It was bad enough when Howard Dean praised the Rebel flag, but he had no idea the Bush family owned slaves.

Howard Dean apologized Thursday to anyone he offended with his Confederate flag remarks in a debate. He found himself checkmated. The reason Episcopalians are no good at chess is because we cannot tell the difference between a bishop and a queen.

The Los Angeles Police on Friday fired a cop for snooping into Halle Berry's file. She's cleaned up her act since her one brush with the law. Gasoline is so expensive in Los Angeles that Halle Berry has begun remaining at the scene of the accident.

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman vowed he won't allow nuclear waste to be trucked through Las Vegas to Yucca Mountain. He's a highly popular former mob defense lawyer. Oscar Goodman once went backstage at the Stardust and taught David Copperfield how to saw a witness in half.

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