Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

No Time to Die is sparking outrage because at the end of the movie James Bond dies. What do you expect him to do, they gave him a wife and a kid. However, if I know Hollywood, he will be reincarnated in the next Bond movie as a trans-sexual cat to do battle against the evil Dave Chappelle.

• The Atlanta Braves defeated the Houston Astros in Game Six in Houston Tuesday to win the World Series. The television ratings were dismal. Baseball used to be America's National Pastime until the smart phone came along and allowed you to take nude selfies and post them on Only Fans.

• Alec Baldwin was forecast by experts Friday to be headed for charges because the prosecution must factor in all the OSHA violations on the set. Let's hope it'd be a televised trial. A televised Alec Baldwin trial would be the greatest publicity for the state of New Mexico since the invention of Meth.

• GOP candidate Glenn Youngkin edged Democrat Terry McAuliffe in the Virginia governor race Tuesday in a setback for the progressive agenda in Washington, D.C. Youngkin called it the greatest night of his life. But just to be on the safe side, he checked his closet for Clintons before going to bed.

• A McAuliffe aide tried to embarrass Republicans by sneaking into a Youngkin rally waving a Rebel flag, wearing a MAGA cap. The crowd gasped. Election results show Virginians are masters at pretending to be offended by the Confederate flag or the mention of Trump when the cameras are on.

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• The White House faced headwinds against Biden's ambitious Build Back Better program after the Virginia and New Jersey election results reflected a desire for moderation. An administration spokesman explained Build Back Better is a two-part plan. First we take your money, then we waste it.

• The Supreme Court met Monday and weighed arguments on the controversial Texas abortion law. Pro-choice advocates say it violates the Roe versus Wade decision. While in Glasgow, President Biden was asked by reporters what he thought about Roe versus Wade and Joe said he prefers to float.

• President Biden terrified staffers by ad-libbing at length at Glasgow but he always escapes. In 2020 when Joe said poor kids are just as smart as white kids, his electability was questioned. But when he added retards are just as gay as them queers, people knew he had president written all over him.

• President Biden fell asleep on live television during the climate change conference in Glasgow Monday, and as he nodded off, my cable TV reception cut off and the screen went totally blank. The studio announcer came on the air and said we're temporarily experiencing Joe Biden. Please stand by.

• Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti addressed the Climate Change Conference that was meeting in Glasgow and warned that time is running out to save Planet Earth. Mayor Garcetti has had a profound effect on the morale of L.A.'s homeless population. They've started sharing needles again.

• Governor-elect Glenn Youngkin was elected Tuesday to govern the Commonwealth of Virginia, England's first colony, settled largely in the 1650s by sons of defeated Cavalier nobility, including my Hamilton ancestor. They lost a bitter civil war to the Puritans that ended in regicide. My dad told me an atheist is anybody who watches Southern Methodist play Baylor Baptist and doesn't care who wins.

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