Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Michael Jordan's earliest pair of NBA sneakers, the 1984 Nike Air Ships, sold at auction this week for $1.5 million at Sotheby's in Las Vegas. It's all for a good cause. The money raised from the auction will be donated to Jordan's favorite charity, the Collections Department at Caesar's Palace.

• The Miami Herald reports the remains of the fugitive suspect bride-murderer Brian Laundrie have been found in a protected wildlife area in a receded swamp in Florida. He appears to have died while being mauled by a wild animal. Authorities want to bring in Alec Baldwin for questioning.

• Alec Baldwin faced a possible negligent homicide charge in New Mexico Tuesday even though he was told by his movie crew the gun was safe when they handed it to him. It doesn't seem right. Today I stand behind Alec Baldwin, because there's no way in hell I'm going to stand in front of him.

• Netflix was picketed Monday by its LGBT employees who are mad at David Chapelle for citing the biology that marks the two sexes at birth in his Netflix comedy special. It's a fact that women live seven years longer than men. That means when I hit the age of seventy-eight I'm having a sex change.

• Dave Chapelle offered to meet transgenders to discuss his free speech rights to assert there are two genders. The same day, White House staffers formulated their gender policy. They pretend to be in total agreement but I understand behind the scenes there was a lot of he/she said, she/he said.

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• The National Retail Federation held back announcing its holiday shopping sales total forecast on Tuesday. They know it's still too soon. When I was a kid, if someone played Christmas music in October, you were legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse for your Halloween decorations.

• West Hollywood is preparing for a huge Halloween parade after calling off last year's parade due to the pandemic. But can the day compete with the news for fright value? Halloween used to be called the Craziest Day of the Year until John Hinckley and Hunter Biden ushered in the modern era.

• President Biden stepped into the controversy around the Netflix transgender protests Tuesday and announced a national gender policy for America. It totally rejects the biological two-gender argument. Whatever happened to the Biden who only cared if you have a vaccine card in your pants?

• President Biden's job approval fell Monday due to public anger over high food prices, a spike in gas prices, border chaos and Americans still being held in Afghanistan. The upcoming time change is more of a time machine. A week from Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back to 1979.

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