• Robert Ahorner, 57, apparently just to "win" an argument with his wife, who was dissatisfied with their sex life, left the room with his 9mm semi-automatic and fired four shots at his penis. (As he said later, "If I'm not using it, I might as well shoot it off.") Of course, he missed, and police in Elkhorn, Wisconsin, said no laws were violated.
• In a lawsuit filed against an allegedly retaliating former lover, Columbia University School of Public Health professor Mady Hornig said her jilted boss tried repeatedly to harm her professional standing, even twice calling her into his office, dropping his trousers, and asking her professional opinion of the lesion on his buttock. [GazetteExtra (Janesville), 5-15-2017] [New York Post, 5-20-2017]
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