Jewish World Review Oct. 29, 2004 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5765
important news ....
The Boston Red Sox astounded the world in St. Louis
Wednesday and won the World Series for the first time in eighty-
six years. No one can believe that they finally won. Everybody
said Ted Williams would freeze over before that happened.
The World Series drew huge ratings for Fox Television this
week but baseball is no longer the top sport. It has been
replaced. In today's America, changing the channel whenever the
political commercials come on is the new national pastime.
The Sporting News reported that U.S. service personnel are
trying to introduce baseball to Iraq. There's a huge language
problem. When the Iraqis heard that Barry Bonds was an explosive
hitter, they stole three hundred tons of bats with his signature on them.
NFL owners discussed the pros and cons of fielding a team in
the Los Angeles Coliseum Wednesday. Street parking is located
where the Rodney King riots began. A plaque at the corner of
Florence and Normandie marks the birthplace of reality television.
President Bush told Wisconsin Wednesday that John Kerry will
say anything to get elected. His statements are getting goofier.
Yesterday John Kerry accused President Bush of robbing the middle
class of its daylight savings and giving it to his rich friends.
John Kerry gained ground with white males in Ohio polls
Tuesday after he was shown hunting. He had blood all over his
hands after he shot a goose. The way Democrats prefer to hunt,
they sneak up on an animal and then build a barn around him.
Diane Sawyer interviewed Bill Clinton on ABC's PrimeTime
Live on Thursday. He indicated an interest in becoming U.N.
Secretary-General. Republicans responded by contending he's two
days early because Devil's Night falls on Saturday this year.
Yasser Arafat collapsed into unconsciousness Wednesday,
causing his doctors to describe the PLO leader as gravely ill. His
death could cause a major disruption. The Israelis thought they
were done with the Jewish holidays this year.
San Francisco reported a drop in tourism Wednesday due to
the hotel workers lockout. The hospitality industry there was
going downhill anyway. San Francisco is the only city in the world
in which the term boy-meets-girl is used regularly as a term of abuse.
The China News Agency reported Wednesday that archaeologists
digging in Indonesia found fossilized remains of a tiny human that
is now extinct. Scientists believe the species shrank while
isolated on a remote island. Today they call that spa cuisine.
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