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Jewish World Review Oct. 28, 2003 / 2 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Princess Diana's butler wrote a tell-all book airing her most personal secrets. When the princes complained, he told them to grow up and realize their mother will always be talked about. The House of Lords is televised, if you are wondering about the murder trial.

Gray Davis held a transition meeting with Arnold Schwarzenegger in Sacramento Thursday. The ousted governor's popularity just hit a new low. Last week someone posted Gray Davis's credit card number on the Internet, and nobody stole his identity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger got a briefing on the California budget Friday to help him figure out how to get the state out of debt. This explains the brushfires. He took one look at the books and decided to burn down the state for the insurance money.

Hillary Clinton agreed to emcee Iowa's Democratic dinner in November. Democrats wonder if she will use the night to support the other candidates or declare her own candidacy. She promised she will stand by her principles, so it could go either way.

The Democratic presidential candidates debated Sunday in Michigan and argued bitterly over their competing visions for the nation. John Kerry had laryngitis and wasn't able to say much. Laryngitis is the Divine's gift to people who know everything.

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