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Jewish World Review Oct. 21, 2003 / 25 Tishrei, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Pamela Anderson accused KFC of cruelty for using hormones to enlarge chicken breasts. Can't we all just get along? If the chickens don't have any problem with Pamela Anderson, why should Pamela Anderson have any problem with the chickens?

Rodney King was arrested again last week by the Los Angeles police. This man requires medical attention. Rodney King has seen red and blue flashing lights so many times in his rear-view mirror he needs to be hospitalized for Disco Fever.

John Edwards and Howard Dean vowed Sunday to hold a summit on social justice within 90 days of taking office. It's just more class warfare. If they could, Democrats would schedule the America's Cup race to begin two miles upstream from Niagara Falls.

The Washington Post said Sunday Democratic candidates are angry that Hillary Clinton gets to headline the Jackson Day dinner in Iowa next month. They say they feel overshadowed. When Hillary Clinton stands in the sunlight, nothing behind her will grow for three acres.

The U.S. Treasury released the new twenty-dollar bills in banks across America this past week. The bill is colorized with blue, peach and yellow highlights. The Treasury was forced to use blue, peach and yellow because the red is already in use.

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