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Jewish World Review Oct. 3, 2003 / 7 Tishrei, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox miraculously reached the baseball playoffs this week. An epic test of wills is unfolding. If the Chicago Cubs meet the Boston Red Sox in the World Series, they could play for a year and no one would win.

Bill Clinton campaigned onstage for Gray Davis in Los Angeles Thursday. He gave the charisma-challenged governor a real lesson. No one's seen anything like it since Peter Lawford sang Learn to Be a Ladies' Man to Mel Torme in the campus comedy Good News.

Israel's Parliament voted Wednesday to continue construction on the security wall in the West Bank. How fed up are they with terrorism? To keep from being shot on sight, Yasser Arafat walks around the neighborhood disguised as Adolf Hitler.

Cruz Bustamante promised to protect a new law granting employees full pay to stay home with a sick family member. How very nice. Democrats feel it's unfair for Californians to have to sit home sick by themselves and roll their own medicine.

Baghdad rioted Tuesday when police applicants were shaken down for bribes by political hacks as they applied for jobs at the police station. It proves a law of nature. Chicago is what happens when you do nothing to prevent it from happening.

President Bush came to work Thursday facing a guerrilla war overseas, antiwar protests, and a Justice Department criminal investigation of the White House. It's weird. If it were any more like the 1970s, Arnold Schwarzenegger would be smoking pot at the gym and telling his friends that someday he'll be governor of California.

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