Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Facebook apologized after its censors labeled parts of the Declaration of Independence as hate speech. When I was a child in the late 1950s, NBC aired the Wizard of Oz once a year on Sunday nights and I wondered how people could still talk if they didn’t have a brain. And then I got Tik-Tok.

• The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity is a huge best-selling book on Amazon that lists five laws which confirm how stupid people indeed rule the world. You can’t compete with this crowd. If on any particular day YOU feel stupid remember that Tsar Nicholas II tried to ban vodka in Russia.

• The University of Oklahoma is my destination today where I’ll perform at a dinner honoring my ATO fraternity chapter’s 100th anniversary at OU. I much prefer the suspense of trying to fly back and land in Oklahoma in the middle of tornado season. There is NO thrill like Redneck Roulette.

• California Governor candidate Larry Elder, who is black, said it’s descendants of slave owners who are owed slavery reparations. He said slave owners had their legal property taken from them and their descendents are owed compensation. The last thing I need is another government handout.

• President Biden will give a speech Thursday to lay out his six-point plan to control the spread of the Delta variant of Corona Virus. Tourists love to gather outside the White House lawn to see the Changing of the Subject. The only thing spreading faster than the Delta variant is the Taliban.

• White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki got angry at White House reporters Tuesday who are referring to the plight of the Americans stranded n Afghanistan as a hostage crisis. The Biden administration has an explanation for the reason why the Americans were left behind. Trump did it.

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• Kamala Harris revealed plans to aid governments in Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador to try to halt the emigration to the U.S. I decided to go to Central America on my vacation and see the situation for myself. So I called an Uber and told the driver the take me around the neighborhood.

• National Geographic published an article on Brazil and how to experience the wonders of the vast rainforest. The article included a story about the Brazilian Wandering Spider, revealing that a bite from this spider can give a man an erection for three hours. We really need to save the Amazon.

• Britney Spears is being investigated by Ventura County Sheriffs on a claim by her housemaid that the singer assaulted her in a dispute over the singer’s dog food diet. Yesterday I assaulted a Roomba vacuum cleaner since it wasn’t doing its job. The DA’s Small Appliance Unit is investigating.

• The Los Angeles Police warned about Fentanyl-laced cocaine sweeping the city. In addition, L.A. women are making their boyfriends try a new drug cocktail that‘s a combination of Viagra, Ivermectin and Adderall. Not only are you hard and hung like a horse, but you actually pay attention.

• The Taliban was reported to be bargaining for recognition of its new government Tuesday by holding onto Americans still in Afghanistan. The new Islamic Emirate government will be led by Prime Minister Mullah Mohammed Hassan Akhund. The Liberal Party will be led by Mullah Light.

• The Taliban after seizing Afghanistan refused to allow a plane load of Americans to leave last week. It recalls the Iran revolution when angry militants took 52 Americans hostage for a year back in 1979. It’s impossible to describe to young people today the depths to which some people hated disco.

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