Jewish World Review Sept. 28, 2004 / 13 Tishrei, 5765
important news ....
CBS News said Sunday Dan Rather will anchor the presidential
debates despite rumors of the anchor's imminent firing. People who
thought Dan Rather would be with CBS forever forgot the first rule
of show business. Only penguins mate for life.
Deion Sanders, after two years of NFL retirement, left CBS
Sports last week to play cornerback for the Baltimore Ravens. He's
trying to improve his skills as a football analyst. Three more
concussions and he will be as good as Terry Bradshaw.
Major League Baseball agreed Friday to move the Montreal
Expos to Washington D.C. It's bad news for Rickey Henderson. Every
time the budget bill comes up there will be four hundred thirty-
five congressmen competing for the all-time steal record.
The Kerry campaign said Sunday it made a mistake answering
one question from Outdoor Life magazine. They said the senator's
favorite gun is his Communist Chinese assault rifle and they meant
to say Communist Chinese single-bolt rifle. Either way you simply
can't send a clearer signal that you intend to nationalize the
John Kerry asked Wednesday that the debate room temperature
be below seventy degrees because he sweats. Image is everything.
Politicians look a lot better in debates ever since Max Factor
invented a new television makeup called Instant Honest.
President Bush is leading John Kerry in an unscientific poll by a chili company in Nashville. They sold twenty-four hundred cans of Conservative Republican Texas Chili Beans and only twenty- two hundred cans of Liberal Democrat Boston Baked Beans. We have got a lot of nerve accusing Saddam Hussein of gassing his own people.
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