Jewish World Review Sept. 20, 2004 / 5 Tishrei, 5765
important news ....
Illinois U.S. Senate candidate Barack Obama opened a giant
lead against his GOP opponent. He said in his neighborhood in
Chicago, people vote because it's their patriotic duty. That must
be true, because most of them don't need the money.
The FDA announced Thursday people will no longer need a
doctor's prescription to purchase defibrillators. They are used to
shock a person back to life. The Bush administration wants to
revive the Kerry campaign, just to make it a fair fight.
John Kerry confounded Don Imus on his radio show last week
with his vague and noncommittal answers. Help is on the way. One
of the radio listeners is sending John Kerry a copy of the Kama
Sutra in case he runs out of positions he can take on Iraq.
John Edwards urged Democrats Friday to use sharper criticism
of President Bush. Coordination is the key. The Kerry campaign has
one team of lawyers for fundraising, two teams of lawyers for the
recount, and John Edwards to sue for damages after the train wreck.
Bill Clinton was reported last week to have begun a
cholesterol-free diet to avoid future heart problems. He's giving
up eggs. The latest medical theory says it was not the fall that
killed Humpty Dumpty, he was dead before he hit the ground.
Monday Night Football, it was announced Friday, will be
broadcast this season on a five-second delay. They worry that a
female fan might flash her breasts at the camera. The delay allows
ABC Sports time to warn their viewers they have five seconds to
John Kerry appeared with General Wesley Clark onstage in Las Vegas Thursday before the National Guard convention. He began droning about the complexities and ambiguities involved in his vote to go to war. By the twentieth minute, he had two audience members taking their shirts off onstage and clucking like chickens.
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