Jewish World Review Sept. 7, 2004 / 21 Elul, 5764
important news ....
John Kerry relaxed on Nantucket Sound while the GOP
Convention was pummeling him last week. The pictures didn't help.
The cameras caught him wind-surfing, and it occurred to viewers
that even his hobby depends on which way the wind is blowing.
John Kerry campaigned Monday in West Virginia, where the
Democrats own a wide plurality. The party may be all they have in
common. John Kerry comes from a crowd that thinks Dale Earnhardt
was the first woman aviator to fly across the Pacific.
John Kerry gave a thunderous response in Ohio Thursday to
all the charges made at the convention. He ripped Dick Cheney for
avoiding the draft five times and accused the president of
misleading the nation into war in Iraq. At any minute you expected
Teresa to step up and say that her man takes Cialis because it
gives him the response he likes.
John Kerry performed with great vigor Thursday after the
pounding he took at the GOP Convention. He must improve his
message. It leaves audiences cross-eyed to hear that we're a great
country, we're a powerful country, and it's time for a change.
John Kerry told the American Legion Convention meeting in
Nashville he would have done everything differently in Iraq. He
drew a full auditorium. It was so hot in Tennessee that strangers
came in off the street to enjoy the chilly reception.
A hospitalized Bill Clinton called John Kerry Saturday night. He told him to stop talking about Vietnam and start asking questions about Iraq. And then as the doctors wheeled
him away, he asked him to win one for the groper.
Bill Clinton was in New Orleans Wednesday and hinted that
his memoir My Life would make a terrific movie. He doesn't read
the trades. The porno industry is still shut down in Los Angeles
until the actors' guild is satisfied that no more actors will get
Senator Zell Miller addressed the GOP Convention. He was
once chief of staff for Lester Maddox, he nominated Bill Clinton
and now he's endorsed George Bush. If they ever teach evolution in
Southern schools, it will be all about Zell Miller.
Men's Health predicted super-long lifespans in America due
to much healthier lifestyles. Evidence is pouring in. One guy gave
up sugar, bread, tobacco, sex, caffeine and alcohol, and he was
healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Arnold Schwarzenegger told the convention how he was
welcomed to America when all he could speak was German. That's
nothing. His father could only speak German and he was welcomed to
Poland, France, and Russia, if they knew what was good for them.
William Kennedy Smith was sued for sex assault by his employee Audra Soulias last week. He met her in Bosnia and convinced her to immigrate to America to work for him. The producers of Alien versus Predator couldn't buy this kind of publicity.
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