Jewish World Review Sept. 26, 2003 / 29 Elul, 5763

Keith Olbermann

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Consumer Reports

As the Western World churns | Those guilty-pleasure stories culled from the tabloids and the gossip pages.

  • Think of it as the rock 'n' roll version of stepping on a rake. Performer David Lee Roth has now canceled the remainder of his U.S. tour, after he attempted what was described by his spokesman as "a very fast, complicated 15th century samurai move while on stage in Philadelphia." In other words, he was pretending to do this kung fu thing while holding a big wooden stick, with which he hit himself in the face. Mr. Roth required 21 stitches and says he is finding it hard to sing and dance. This is assuming that what he was doing before was singing and dancing.

  • No telling where Mr. Roth's work ended up on this survey. But Bruce Springsteen's album "Born to Run" has placed first in the "Zagat" music guide for the most popular album ever; 10,500 voters rode through mansions of glory in suicide machines, sprung from cages on Highway 9, chromed-wheeled, fuel-injected and stepping out over the line, to pick the Boss' hit first, "Abbey Road" and "Sgt. Pepper" second and third, "Joshua Tree" from U2 fourth, and, of course, fifth, the greatest hits of Hurricane Smith. Actually, fifth was "The White Album."

  • Nowhere on the list, any of the Streisand albums, which is just fine by her. Babs says she has not listened to one of her own recordings in maybe 10 years. She confesses that's the reason she's given up doing concert work — "Really, I just got sick of it. In addition to having stage fright and the exertion of singing 30 songs a night, it is boring to sing your own songs."

  • Do you know what is never boring? Animal stories, especially dogs with big floppy ears. Say hello to Mr. Jeffries, the basset hound from West Sussex in England. Just don't say it too loudly. He can hear you fine. Mr. Jeffries is allegedly the grandson of the dog who modeled for Hush Puppies shoes. He is recognized by "2004 Guinness Book of Records" as the dog with the largest ears in the world. Each ear is nearly a foot long, although I'm thinking they're not always in the upright and loaded position. He could take off in a big wind.

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    The writer hosts MSNBC's “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” The news program, dedicated to all of the day’s top stories, telecasts weeknights, 8-9 p.m. ET. Comment by clicking here.

    09/11/03: Memories of 9/11
    09/09/03: As the Western World churns
    08/25/03: As the Western World churns
    07/30/03: Nike, lawyer, almost canceling on Kobe?
    06/20/03: The parenting files
    06/19/03: As the world churns
    06/13/03: The No. 1 story is No. 2: The poop on America and its bathrooms
    06/04/03: Terror attack preparation: Too much or too little?
    06/02/03: Bush vs. Clinton?
    05/29/03: Ticket blitz in New York City? Hey, at least pregnant women won't be blocking stairwells
    05/21/03: ‘Barney’ as torture
    05/08/03: Because you just can't take the news too seriously
    04/30/03: Should we be more scared of SCARS, or a government that will readily deny you your freedom on the suspicion that you may have it?
    04/29/03: Man bites dog --- really!
    04/28/03: Because you just can't take the news too seriously ...
    04/25/03: The panic over SARS
    04/22/03: Playing —and greeting cards in a changed world
    04/21/03: Reading your own obituary ... and other 'oops' moments
    04/15/03: Saddam Hussein and the Sorcerer's Stone: The secret to Saddam's immortality

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