Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

TV Guide reports the TV ratings for cable news have soared as Americans can't get enough of the Afghan debacle. Who doesn't love a clown show? Contrary to popular belief, the world is NOT full of idiots, it's just that they are strategically placed so that you run across at least one every day.

• Taliban fighters took control last week after conquering the country in ten days. The TV news showed them in Kabul eating ice cream, riding bumper cars in an amusement park and playing cricket. It bothered me to no end to realize that the Taliban have a better work-life balance than I do.

• CNN said ISIS is threatening to kill Americans en route to the Kabul Airport Sunday. The last ISIS attack in the West was on London Bridge by a terrorist who worked as a cook at KFC. He had no idea how many more Christians he could have killed if he'd just stuck to making fried chicken.

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• Sky News reported that the Taliban were stopping Americans on their way to the Kabul Airport and beating them up. The checkpoints caused deadly stampedes. It's at this point that U.S. college students at Berkeley realize the Taliban will probably never address them by their preferred pronouns.

• President Biden went on the air Sunday to double down on his withdrawal strategy. He insists upon staying on message. The White House announced in the strongest possible terms on Sunday that the Taliban will not be allowed to enter the U.S. Embassy in Kabul unless they're fully vaccinated.

• British former Prime Minister Tony Blair accused Joe Biden of being motivated by imbecilic sloganeering about withdrawing from forever wars. It's time for our cousins to give Joe a good pep talk. We need a Commander-in-Chief who'll fight like he's trying to become the host of Jeopardy.

• The Los Angeles Times tried to come to the rescue of Governor Newsom Sunday by comparing the upcoming gubernatorial recall election effort in California to Afghanistan. That's just crazy. One is a tribal state that can't even distribute water or keep the electricity on, the other is Afghanistan.

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