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December 10th, 2017

Coupling

20 ridiculous marriage myths you still believe in

Chakell Wardleigh

By Chakell Wardleigh FamilyShare

Published August 12, 2016

20 ridiculous marriage myths you still believe in

We all know divorce rates are skyrocketing. But do we know why so many marriages fail? Could it be that our expectations are not realistic?

Here are 20 myths about marriage that are still prominent.

1.Marriage is hard.

Marriage is not easy, but it is not hard either. If you donít treat it like an unwanted chore, it wonít be one. As long as both of you put in effort to strengthen and maintain your relationship, marriage will not be difficult.

2.You will always be in love if you marry ďthe one.Ē

No marriage is perfect. No matter how hard you try, some arguments and disagreements cannot be avoided. Marriage is based on both your commitment to your spouse as well as your compatibility with one another.

3.Your spouse will change for you if they truly love you.

If you go into your marriage with this idea, your marriage will be based on manipulation. People can change, but the thing that changes them is love. It is your job to love your spouse, not to fix them.

4.Things only get tough if you marry the wrong person.

Every marriage faces hardship. During turbulent times, donít try to escape. Donít give up on your spouse, and they will not give up on you. You two are a team. If you work things through, your relationship will become even stronger than it was before.

5.Itís all about love.

Sure, marriage is based on loving another person unconditionally, but there is so much more to it than that. You will ace every problem together, every tragedy together and every triumph together.


6.Your kids should come before your spouse.

This is a belief many still hold on to. Your children are some of the most important people in your life, but it is your spouse who should come first. Having a strong and healthy relationship with your spouse is a form of security for your children.

7.Marriage means you are in charge of your spouseís happiness.

In all reality, you are in charge of your own happiness. You can surely make your spouse happy, but only if they allow you to. If your spouse constantly relies on you for their happiness, neither one of you will truly be happy.

8.You donít have to tell your spouse everything.

Being secretive can make an enemy out of your spouse. Marriage is based on putting your full trust in your spouse. Donít keep vital information from them for any reason.

9.Couples donít fight in healthy marriages.

Sometimes arguments canít be avoided. But this doesnít mean you have to scream and shout at one another to get points across. Being honest and working through problems together makes your relationship stronger.

10.Marriage fixes everything.

The problems you had when you were single will still be present when you are married. The benefit of marriage is constantly having a wonderful person to act as your support system when things get tough.


11.The people who know you best will give you the best marriage advice.

Never assume your friends know all there is to know about relationships. If you truly need advice on your marriage, ask a mentor or someone you fully trust who can give you insight.

12.Marriage makes you happy.

Another person can truly make you happier, but only if you are happy to begin with. If you cannot complete yourself and be happy independent of anyone else, you will not find true happiness in another.

13.Marriage means sacrificing your freedom.

People always relay the message ďhave fun while you still canĒ when you are single. Marriage is one of the most enjoyable experiences you will ever have in your lifetime, and you get to spend time doing the things you love with someone who loves you more than anything.

14.You must be as dedicated to your parents as you are to your spouse.

Your parents may have raised you, but your dedication and loyalty to your spouse should be stronger than your loyalty to your parents. You are committed to your spouse. Donít say anything disrespectful about them and donít let anyone else disrespect them either.

15.Marriage is the finish line.

Marriage may be a significant point of your life, but that does not mean you have to quit living after you get married. There are still many things to discover in your life. Donít let yourself waste away and give up on your dreams after youíre married.

16.Your spouse should be able to read your mind.

Mind reading is for comic books, so donít make your spouse play the guessing game when you are upset or frustrated. You will continue to be frustrated, and they will continue to be confused. Honesty is key.

17.All marriages have a universal path.

No couple is the same. Some may have children and others may not. Do not feel like your marriage is only successful if you follow a certain path.

18.Differences will destroy your marriage

Itís not about different interests; itís about responding to each otherís interests. Asking questions and trying to understand your spouse is key to a healthy relationship. You are both different individuals; therefore, you donít have to agree on everything.

19.You have to do everything with your spouse.

You are committed to your spouse, but remember to take time to bask in your own interests. You will be rejuvenated and appreciate your spouseís presence in your life more.

20.Happily ever after doesnít exist in real life.

Happily ever does exist. But as with fairy tales, it exists after facing many different situations together. If you love, communicate, never give up and trust one another, you will most certainly find happily ever after.

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