Jewish World Review August 30, 2004 / 13 Elul, 5764
important news ....
Exorcist: The Beginning has topped the box office in yet
another scary movie hit. Movie receipts show that Americans love
to be frightened this year. John Kerry has been advised to stop
getting collagen shots and go with the natural look.
John Kerry promised voters Friday to stop credit card
companies from hitting people with extra high service fees. He's
pretending he knows what it's like to have credit card debt, which
is cute. John Kerry's aides can't count the number of times
they've seen him try to purchase airline tickets with his Safeway
The USC Trojans began their season Saturday in Washington,
D.C. It was the right place at the right time. The team is being
investigated for sexual assault just as Teddy Kennedy is casting
for contestants in a new reality show called The Nephew.
Bill Clinton signed books in Dublin Friday where he thanked
the Irish people for always being there for him. Now it can be
told how he dodged Republican attacks for eight years. He started
every day with a great big bowl of Lucky Charms.
Bill and Hillary Clinton visited a peace center in Northern
Ireland Friday. They were booed by the crowd when they left
through the back door. Bill had planned a romantic trip to the
Emerald Isle, then at the last minute Hillary decided to come.
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones raved about rookie
quarterback Drew Henson's abilities Thursday. Maybe it will work
out better this time. The last time Jerry Jones decided on a fresh
face he selected the worst plastic surgeon in North Dallas.
John Kerry last week sparred with the Swift Boat Veterans
for Truth over his river combat. Those rivers remain dangerous
today. Telling what really happened thirty-five years ago in South
Vietnam only scratches the surface and makes it mad.
William Kennedy Smith was sued for sexual assault Tuesday by a woman who later became his girlfriend. It's amazing. Any guy who can sexually assault a woman and then talk her into going steady has what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.
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