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Jewish World Review August 6, 2004 /19 Menachem-Av, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | President Bush and John Kerry were in Davenport Tuesday and three banks were robbed while cops guarded the candidates. The robber must be found. America is desperate to find an Intelligence Director who can think one step ahead of everybody.

President Clinton on CBS Late Night Tuesday discussed the isolation he felt while he wrote his memoir. His book was hand- written on thirty-two legal pads. Bill Clinton simply hates writing, but he has always been a great believer in money.

The Dallas Cowboys in a surprise Wednesday cut quarterback Quincy Carter from the team after he flunked a second drug test. It had nothing to do with race as far as Dallas is concerned. All three of the back-up quarterbacks are from up North.

Kobe Bryant was offered a plea bargain by Colorado prosecutors Tuesday. It's not a bad deal. Under the terms he would write the woman a letter of apology and the rape accusation would be reduced to a misdemeanor charge of following too close.

Sony PlayStation 2 owners previewed the new Athens 2004 game on Wednesday. It's a video game simulation of this summer's Olympics in Greece. It's so realistic you can't even play it til you've gone through a two-hour background check.

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