Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The FBI couldn't stop a cloud-hacking of Hunter Biden's laptop Sunday that spread nude photos of him partying with hookers on the Internet. I've been there. Last week Hunter was horrified to find a homework essay by his six-year-old boy that says his daddy loves sugar so much he eats it with his nose.

• Supreme Court Justice conservative Brett Kavanaugh took his family to the very swank Morton's Restaurant in Washington, D.C., for a steak and rib dinner Friday where they were hounded out of the restaurant by livid protestors. Oddly enough they weren't pro-abortion protestors. They were vegetarians.

• The New York Post showed an inflation chart likening President Biden's economy to the Jimmy Carter Era. Late at night, I've been watching DVDs of TV series in the Seventies. In those days, six million dollars could completely reconstruct a Bionic Man, and now it's barely enough to fill my gas tank.

• President Biden took to the bully pulpit Tuesday and demanded that small business owners of gas stations reduce the price of gas at the pump to its cost. That's a lot of pressure on the snack sales. Joe Biden must think gas station owners can make all their money off Ding Dongs like he does with Hunter.

• An L.A. Ford saleswoman wearing a Biden sticker took me on an F-150 test drive Sunday and she raved about ventilation ducts in the driver's seat that blow cool air to your butt in the summer and hot air to your butt in the winter. I told her this must be a Trump Truck because a Biden Truck would just blow smoke up your ass all year-round. The mile-long walk back to the dealership to get my car was worth it.

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• The Department of Transportation reported that a record forty-two million Americans drove over fifty miles to their destination over the July Fourth weekend. No one even wants to think about all the money we spent filling up our cars. Gas prices are so high I saw Dolly Parton carpooling with Jolene.

• Barbra Streisand called the Supreme Court the American Taliban for its decision to overthrow Roe v. Wade. She's linked to other issues as well. It's generally agreed you should not be allowed to buy an assault rifle if you have a criminal record, a mental health record or a Barbra Streisand record.

• Highland Park police quickly caught the shooter who fired into the July 4th parade Monday. In a morbid way, it reminded me of a joke I did forty years ago about the KGB's Bulgarian assassin who shot and wounded the pope during a big parade. Who can forget Russia's claim that the pope fired first?

• The White House on Tuesday cited the international help the U.S. is receiving in the baby formula shortage. That morning, a UPS 747 cargo plane arrived in Philadelphia from Sydney delivering two million cans of the baby formula which Australians use to feed their babies. Each can is labeled Foster's.

• The House January 6th Committee extended the hearings another month on Friday however we aren't the only Western nation to experience a recent Capitol riot. Angry Dutch farmers sprayed Holland's Parliam

• Dick's Sporting Goods nationwide chain of retail stores announced that the company's health care plan will cover all the travel expenses for any female employee who is forced to travel to another state to get an abortion. You heard this right. A company named Dick's will pay for abortions.

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