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• The Wall Street Journal published a poll Friday showing that nearly eighty percent of Democrats believe the country is currently in rough shape. I grew up with Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs and today there's no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope. Please don't let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.
• Cassidy Hutchinson's hearsay testimony about Trump's behavior on Jan 6th was refuted by the Secret Service. He did NOT put a noose around the driver's neck and shout, this is MAGA Country! The committee will next subpoena California Raisins to testify that they heard it through the grapevine.
• President Biden hosted a Gay Pride event in the White House and issued an executive order that will facilitate gender-transition surgeries for kids. It never ends. First-grade reading circle books will include Dick and Jane, Jane and Jane, Dick Transitions into Jane, and Run Dick Run from the Scalpel.
• R. Kelly appeared to be contrite Tuesday as he stood before the judge in Brooklyn Federal Court who sentenced the rap star to prison for thirty years for underage sex trafficking and lewd conduct. The prison is full of drugs and has thirty-foot walls. We'll see how high R. Kelly believes he can fly now.
• President Biden got Finland invited to join NATO Tuesday that will put U.S. missiles on Russia's border. Do we ever get to relax? Living through the years 2020, 2021 and 2022 have been like being in a movie that was written by Stephen King, directed by Quentin Tarantino with a soundtrack by Yoko Ono.
• The Supreme Court's decision overturning Roe v. Wade set off trigger laws in a dozen Red States that either tightened or eliminated abortion rights in those states. Special circumstances generally provide the exceptions. In Texas, abortions are still legal, however the baby gets an AR-15 to defend itself.
• Governor Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday he's going to send California taxpayers inflation rebates. My Cadillac is in the body shop after I turned too sharply in a gas station island and scrunched my passenger door on a post, doing $5,000 damage. I couldn't drive for a week, saving me $5,000 in gas.
• Los Angeles hosted a My Body, My Choice rally at the L.A. Forum protesting the Supreme Court overturning Roe versus Wade. A righteous cause is always vulnerable to the risk of hypocrisy. I know ten women who were not allowed inside the My Body, My Choice rally because they were unvaccinated.
• Ghislaine Maxwell got twenty years in federal prison Tuesday for pimping underage girls for her late boss the pedophile billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. It's so obvious that she and Epstein shared a very special bond. Although they have been apart for three years they're still finishing each other's sentences.
• CDC Director Rochelle Walensky Saturday recommended all children from the age of six months old to the age of five by given a Covid vaccination shot. If that doesn't sell enough Pfizer, virologists in India adapted the vaccine to treat dogs. Not to be outdone, China has developed a delicious dipping sauce.
• Al Jazeera reported Monday that Pakistan launched a Pakistan-made satellite into outer space to uncover the secrets of the galaxy. Pakistan claimed it has already located water and whales on the planet Jupiter. The next morning the BBC reported that Pakistan's satellite has been found in the Arabian Sea.
• President Biden was in Madrid Tuesday with leaders of NATO countries. Joe's getting Finland to join NATO, that would put U.S. missiles a nine-iron shot across the lake from St. Petersburg. The good news is, North Korea finally has a market for all those nuclear missiles they have that only go twenty miles.
• Green Day's Billy Joe Armstrong is moving to the UK citing America's sexism and racism. If it's not England, the stars threaten to move to Canada or Australia or New Zealand. Have you noticed that when celebrities decide to leave the U.S. due to our racism, they always flee to the White Dominions?
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