She should also thank her lucky stars that she didn't spit at a guest in some restaurants I know where the owners wouldn't just fire her.
Mayor Lori Lightfoot branded the spitter as "repugnant" for spitting on the son of President Donald Trump at the high-end lounge in the Fulton Market area. And, the mayor said, civility is important.
If I were king not some fat guy worried about carbs dressed in a velvet Brooks Brothers doublet sitting on a Hollywood-style throne, but a real king with supreme power of life and death, and a head lopper on the payroll I'd make the spitter pay an extremely high price.
And, naturally, I'd order her to pay for shame with shame.
Naturally, Mayor Lightfoot, who is more civilized than I am, said Thursday that "civility matters."
"We may not agree (on politics)," Lightfoot said. "And in my case, I don't agree with a lot of things that President Trump stands for. Our values are different. But you cross the line when you assault someone. You absolutely cross the line when you intentionally target someone for that kind of treatment. No one deserves that. No one."
She added that "we cannot countenance people who go out of their way to express themselves in such a repugnant fashion."
Eric Trump decided not to press charges, and that's really too bad, because if charges were filed, it would be tossed to Cook County State's Attorney Kim Foxx. She's already screwed up the Jussie Smollett business. I'd just love to see how she'd screw up the case of the spitting waitress.
You just know she would.
Immediately, a GoFundMe page was established by some moron to support the spitting waitress. But then that story got confused. There were questions that the beneficiary of the GoFundMe account was not the real spitter, but some fake spitter just trying to play the victim and squeeze money out of gullible Trump-hating leftists.
The GoFundMe page was later taken down, and the guy who started it refunded the money, according to GoFundMe.
But consider this: The GoFundMe page had real donors.
Did any of these donors work in restaurants or bars?
Don't you want to know if they handle your food or drink?
If the Lightfoot administration truly wants to prove that "civility matters," then the names of those donors should be printed on the restaurant menus with a note: "We employ spitter sympathizers."
And everyone paying for their meals should know if a restaurant or cocktail lounge is the kind of place where spitters and their friends can find sanctuary.
I grew up in the food business in Chicago. And so did all my cousins who grew up working in their fathers' diners and restaurants.
Our fathers and uncles taught us to respect the customers. And if we didn't respect the customers, G od help us.
The customers put money in our pockets and food on our own tables. The ancient law of hospitality is that you treat your guests in your restaurants or store the way you'd treat them if they were in your home.
Their politics don't matter. Your politics don't matter. The only thing that matters is that they are your guests. And you are obligated to serve and protect them.
Any violation of the law of hospitality against one guest is a violation against all guests, in all restaurants, something the alleged spitter and her idiotic go-fund-me friends don't understand.
Or perhaps they don't care, besotted as they are about dreaming of political victory and Democratic vengeance for 2016. Spitting on people won't win them the next election. Spitting on people could cost them the election.
My editors and my cousins remind me that most medieval punishments even for face spitters aren't remotely civilized.
"This is not â€˜Game of Thrones'," said my cousin John, who grew up working in his father's diner on the South Side and is now a lawyer. "This is the restaurant business."
A business that is thoroughly ruthless, yes, and competitive, but on the whole, civilized.
I called another cousin. She worked in her father's banquet hall on the Northwest Side.
"She spit on a customer, and that's the act of a pig," said Teena, whose father, Tom, ran a Northwest Side banquet hall.
But we all agreed that this is 2019, not the Dark Ages.
Nick Kokonas, who owns The Aviary, knows about Greek hospitality. And he's said to be livid.
He put out a statement saying that his business is being threatened by "hundreds" of angry people who are posting fake reviews. And he properly condemned the actions of the spitter.
But he should have done more. Kokonas' restaurant chain is famous for flights of culinary fancy, some of them completely over the top.
He should have had her wipe the spit from Trump's face, and then frozen it in one of those fancy gourmet balloons, and hung it around her neck.
And then she could do a "Walk of Atonement" through every restaurant in Chicago, with the staffs yelling, "Shame! Shame!"
That's what I would do if I were king.
But even that can't be done.
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