In the Throes of a Dilemma (Part II)

Last week I began my column by telling you that I am in the throes of a dilemma. I then went on to define the words "throes," and "dilemma."

As entertaining and clever as that was, my explanations became so involved that before I knew it all of my allotted space was taken up with exposition and there was no room to tell of my actual dilemma.

I promised that I would divulge it to you this week, and true to my word I will --- unless I digress again.

No, don't get scared.

I won't do that.

Now that you're all on the edge of your seats, here then is my dilemma. I have recently lost weight. So far, no dilemma, but don't rush me, it's coming. Because I've lost weight, I'm now able to wear my better clothes. That's good. Unfortunately, my better clothes are rather outdated. That's bad.

I can go out and buy nice new clothes. That's good. Unfortunately, I don't like any of the new styles. That's bad.

Okay, so now you know my dilemma. Do I wear my good old-fashioned clothes with the style that I happen to like? Or do I go out and buy new clothes with a style that I don't like? I suppose the answer depends on how much value one puts on being stylish. Trendy was never my thing; as a matter of fact I used to pride myself on not wearing clothes that everyone else wore. I liked being individually dressed so to speak. Through the years I have developed a style that suits me and I've pretty much stuck to it.

But here's where my dilemma deepens. When you are a young man who does not follow the trends of fashion, you are considered an individual, a freethinker, an independent strong non-conformist. However, when you are an older man who does not follow the fashion trends, you are considered an old foggy who has not kept up with the times, an old man who only wears old styles.

Keep in mind that my old clothes were expensive and many of my suits were custom made. They are still in very good shape, they're not shabby or worn-looking, they look brand new. They're just not in fashion anymore and since the stores only sell the new styles, they can't be replaced.

Who knew losing those excess pounds would put me in such a state of flummoxation? (I don't think that's a real word, but I like it so I'm using it.) As well as being in the throes of a dilemma, I am in a quandary of the first water. And a watery quandary is no place to be, believe me. Wear old and look like the old man who thinks its still 1985, or wear new and look like the old fool who is trying in vain to look young. What a choice!

I can't even consult with family members on this thing because they all have their own preconceived notions about it. My sister and brother tend to go with whatever is trendy and "with it" at any given time, so they would encourage me to buy new stuff. My wife on the other hand, has the same conservative tastes in clothes that I have and she knows the way I like to look when I'm dressed, so because of that she would encourage me to wear my good old clothes.

Ah, as if all this wasn't enough, there's another wrinkle (pun intended) in this clothing puzzle.

If I opt to wear my old good clothes, not only am I alone in the style I'm wearing, but also I'm alone in a much greater sense.

You see, men don't wear suits to go out anymore, no matter what style they happen to be.

Sure, there are still some jobs where men wear suits to work, (very few and getting fewer all the time) but wearing a suit to go out for dinner, or to a show or concert, or to an important family function, or really anywhere else is over.

I suppose I could always wear nothing at all and just look like the crazy old man who has escaped from the nursing home.

Or maybe I'll just put the weight back on and wear what I wore as an old fat guy, an oversized Hawaiian shirt and old blue jeans.

At least that way I'll fit right in with most of the other men in my age group.