Jewish World Review July 8, 2004 / 19 Tamuz, 5764
important news ....
John Kerry astounded many experts by picking John Edwards
Tuesday. He selected for his running mate a younger and better-
looking and more talented candidate than himself. Hollywood no
longer considers President Bush the stupid one.
The New York Post committed a front-page gaffe Tuesday with
headlines saying John Kerry had picked Dick Gephardt. Lesson
learned. This is the last time the editors ever invite CIA
Director George Tenet to lunch and pump him for information.
John Edwards was selected by John Kerry to be his running
mate Tuesday. He's a political newcomer. Voters still aren't sure
where John Edwards stands on all the issues but he is a personal
injury attorney so we know he's in favor of the war.
Bill Clinton looked sad while praising John Edwards to the
media Tuesday. It wasn't because his wife was eclipsed as the
Democratic heir-apparent. He just couldn't believe he spent six
days writing that book and it's already out of the news.
Boston recruited police dogs to guard the Democratic
Convention Tuesday. The same day they named a Southern Democrat to
the ticket. In honor of the fortieth anniversary of the Civil
Rights Act, the Democratic Party is returning to its roots.
Shaquille O'Neal declared Monday he will not play for Los
Angeles Lakers and demanded to be traded. NBA players don't mind
switching teams because they never have to pull their children out
of school. They've always got kids in the next city.
USA Today warned U.S. athletes Tuesday not to wave U.S.
flags at the Olympics in Athens. The world is gunning for us.
During the games the U.S. team should wear the Nike swoosh instead
of the American flag so everyone will think they're from Vietnam.
Beverly Hills lawyer David Wolfe admitted embezzling eight hundred thousand dollars from the Beverly Hills Bar Association in order to support his gambling habit. Thus a lawyer stole from lawyers to pay off loan sharks. He should have known what he was getting into when he signed up for the adjustable rate mortgage.
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