Phil Perrier
AWAKENING
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | After 19 years in a coma Terry Wallis began to talk. At first it was just a word here and there; "mom," "Pepsi," "milk."
Terry's mother, Angilee Wallis, was overjoyed. "I couldn't tell you my first thought, I just fell over on the floor," she said.
In 1984 Terry and a friend went off the road in a car, near Terry's home in Mountain View Arkansas. The friend died, Terry, now 39, has been silent ever since. Until now.
Terry's family says he is talking non-stop and he vows to walk again (the accident has left him completely paralyzed) for his 19-year-old daughter Amber. Amber was born after the accident. Terry's family says Terry thinks it is still 1984 and that Ronald Reagan is president.
Terry, this is for you. The following is a brief summary of the past 19 years.
Okay, Ronald Reagan is not president any more. Remember Reagan's Vice President? (probably not) Well, he was a guy named George Bush. Anyway, After Reagan finished his term then Bush won and served for 4 years, (1989-'93) then- you are not going to believe this- the guy who was governor of Arkansas back in 1984, Bill Clinton, became President. Yeah, the guy whose brother sang badly and sold cocaine!
Lets just say Clinton made quite an impression! Especially on a chubby, yet oddly attractive, 19-year-old White House intern named Monica Lewinsky.
President Clinton admitted that Ms. Lewinsky gave him more than dictation- if you catch my drift. But Clinton survived it and finished his term.
Then, the son of George Bush, George W. Bush, (apparently, coming up with new names is not the Bush family strong suit) won the presidency in 2001, against Clinton's former Vice President, Al Gore. Well, Bush sort of won the presidency; he lost the popular vote and most likely the electoral college but did quite nicely with the Supreme Court.
Cell phones: You have noticed that everyone is talking on annoying little telephones. These are what's called "cellular" phones. Cellular phones work about as well as those walky-talkies your parents got you for Christmas during the 1970s. Most cell phone conversations sound like this, "Hello?... hello?... can you hear me?... hello?..."
The internet: The internet is a global, interconnected computer network. It's sort of like the encyclopedia of everything. People all have computers in their homes now, and if they want to look something up, like tree frogs, they just type in www.tree frogs.com, and boom- all sorts of stuff about tree frogs comes up. Also on the internet you can play blackjack and look at naked women. The internet is quite popular.
Television: How many channels did you have in 1984 on your TV, Terry? 4? 5? Well, today we have "cable" tv, and everyone gets hundreds of channels. However, at any given time, at least 50 channels will be showing "Smokey and the Bandit."
Wars we have had: Okay, the last war you can remember was probably our stunning victory in Granada. (1983) Well, since then we have fought in Panama, Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq. Actually, we have fought Iraq twice. But then, as you will see, America has become sequel crazy.
The World: The Iron Curtain came down. All of what used to be the Soviet Union is no longer communist. Now they are all, uh, Democratic countries. So, no more threat of nuclear war, right? Not exactly. Now we are being attacked by Arab terrorists. How nutty is that?
Well Terry, that's about all space will permit. Welcome back and here's to you walking with your grandbabies one day.
P.S. Remember O.J. Simpson?...
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JWR contributor Phil Perrier is a Los Angeles-based writer and stand-up comic.
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