Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

President Biden addressed a group in Philadelphia Tuesday and angrily denounced doomsayers about the economy and claimed it's a success. This is no time to tell consumers to follow the science. The CDC now recommends you wear a mask over your eyes while pumping gas to prevent heart attacks.

• Nancy Pelosi's husband Paul Pelosi's drunk driving arrest booking mug shot was finally released after a ten-day delay. The ten-day delay is easily explainable. You have to remember that this is California, where even chest x-rays are photo-shopped to make you appear younger and healthier.

• Kim Jung Un imposed a harsh crackdown in North Korea on non-socialist activities. Pandemic-related border shutdowns, U.S. sanctions and a black market economy have Kim agitated. It's always tough being the fat kid in your school, but it must be extra tough being the only fat kid in your country.

• Bill Cosby's civil trial in Los Angeles got underway this week in which a woman alleges that he sexually assaulted her fifty years ago when he took her to a party at the Playboy Mansion. Last night a lady at a restaurant bar saw Cosby and tossed a drink in his face. It was a complete waste of Rohypnol.

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• The White House announced Tuesday that President Biden will visit Saudi Arabia next month to meet with Crown Prince Bin Salman as part of talks involving Israel and the West Bank. There are other concerns. While in Saudi Arabia Biden plans to beg the Crown Prince to pump more baby formula.

• American Heritage likened President Biden's time in office to Jimmy Carter's Tuesday. When Carter was the president gas was so expensive you could double the price of your Ford Pinto just by filling the tank with gas. Under Biden, you can double the price of a Porsche by filling the tank with gas.

• GOP Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell expressed his support Tuesday for the bipartisan framework for a bill aimed at increasing gun safety. However there is one thing the two parties will never agree on. Republicans say the Devil is in the details, while the Democrats say he's in Mar-a-Lago.

• House January 6th Committee Democrats indicated Monday that criminal charges will not likely result against Trump, to GOP Trump attacker Liz Cheney's ire. It never ends. There is so little interest in reliving the 2020 election, tonight's televised prime-time hearings are being preempted by a WNBA game.

• Beverly Hills stores reported increased reliance on e-commerce marketing Tuesday until tourists arrive this summer. The CVS in Beverly Hills is now selling kitchen trash bags that are gold-colored. The gold bags end up in the dumpster with the green bags, but they are clearly better than everyone else.

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