• The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in January granted IBM's 2010 application for a patent on "out-of-office" email message software (even though such messages have, of course, been ubiquitous for two decades) after the company finally convinced examiners that its patent had enough software tweaks on it to qualify. (Critics, such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation, laughed at the uselessness of the tweaks.)
• Also in January, the office granted Daniel Dopps a patent for "adhesive vaginal lipstick," which his Mensez Technologies claims can cause the labia minora to tighten so strongly as to retain menstrual fluid until the woman can deal with buildup in privacy. [Ars Technica, 3-1-2017] [News Limited via Fox News, 2-21-2017]
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