Jewish World Review June 1, 2004 / 12 Sivan, 5764
important news ....
The Greatest Generation was saluted at the World War II
Memorial Saturday. They survived the Depression, defeated Hitler,
and saved Western Civilization. It shows what a generation can do
when it has the discipline to stick to alcohol and tobacco.
The Automobile Club said Sunday that three-dollar-a-gallon
gasoline could be a reality by fall. It changes people. No one
wants to say stealing is the answer, but polls show most Americans
favor Rickey Henderson to be the new president of Iraq.
France will host sixteen heads of state at the D-Day
anniversary ceremonies Sunday. The French government said for the
first time in sixty years, Germany will be represented. To tell
the truth, it's the second time, but it's considered bad taste to
bring it up.
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry gave an hour-
long interview to the New York Times Friday. He didn't say much.
John Kerry uses such long words that he can give an hour-long
interview and still be described as a man of few words.
The White House hosted the Rolling Thunder motorcycle group
Sunday. They are a tough-looking crowd. Animal rights activists
harass people wearing fur instead of leather because it's a lot
safer to throw paint on little old ladies than on bikers.
Bill Clinton will begin his book tour Thursday with a speech
in Chicago. He's tanned, he's slim, and he will be meeting
thousands of women at bookstores. Normally there's a poster of the
book cover behind the author, but in this case there will be a
giant legal disclaimer stating that you approach Bill Clinton at
your own risk.
The New York Post says Bill Clinton is shopping for an
apartment in town for weeknights. He's too hoarse to comment. For
hours last night he practiced telling Hillary that cutting out his
one-hour commute reduces our dependence on foreign oil.
Hillary Clinton raised a fortune for Arizona Democrats
Thursday night. She's simply unbelievable. No one believed her
four years ago when she said she loved her husband and no one
believes her today when she says she hopes John Kerry wins.
Al Gore went wild onstage at New York University on
Wednesday. He waved his arms and shouted and whipped the crowd
into a partisan frenzy. The Agriculture Department immediately
quarantined him until he could be tested for Mad Howard Dean.
The Day After Tomorrow opened Friday in which polar melting
caused by global warming destroys the planet. There is no
scientific basis for the claims in the movie. The ice shelf isn't
breaking up, the Clintons insist they are happily married.
The FBI ignored a tip from a Denny's restaurant manager in
Denver Wednesday. He claimed he saw two al-Qaeda suspects eating
there. No one was arrested, but the hostess was fired for
violating Denny's policy by seating them in the white section.
John Kerry told a crowd in Green Bay Friday he would restore
relations with U.S. allies in Europe. Nobody cheered until he
swore allegiance to the Packers. It was the second time in a week
it appeared that he was taking Boston for granted.
John Kerry promised Tuesday that as president he would
destroy the terrorists. He might have an edge in Middle East
policy. By the time John Kerry is in the tenth minute of any
speech, Arabs duck for cover thinking that a drone is overhead.
John Kerry spoke at an outdoor rally in Seattle Wednesday
and the crowd got drenched by rain. The Secret Service would not
let them use umbrellas. No one's allowed to bring umbrellas to a
John Kerry rally in case The Penguin shows up to kill him.
John Kerry was introduced to a Seattle audience on Thursday
by Gary Hart. He was chased out of presidential politics sixteen
years ago when he was photographed with a beautiful blonde on his
lap aboard a yacht called the Monkey Business. He was never going
to carry the Red States by glamorizing the teaching of evolution.
Las Vegas ordered emergency water rationing on Thursday to battle the drought that's drying up the city's water supply. The consequences of the drought could be far-reaching. If Lake Mead drops another fifteen feet we could find Jimmy Hoffa.
Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.