Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Kamala Harris tweeted from home that she's working from home and taking the Pfizer pill during her two-week self-quarantine following her positive test for Covid. Kamala's case proves conclusively that laughter is the best medicine, unless you laugh for no reason. Then you need medicine.

• President Biden said Friday he's thinking about giving an order providing a limited amount of college loan debt relief to help graduates. There's no relief from valueless degrees. A new survey says that over fifty percent of men who graduate from college want to marry a woman with a steady job.

• Speaker Nancy Pelosi paid a surprise visit to Kiev Sunday where she met with Ukraine's leaders in the middle of a war zone. Both the Russian and Ukrainian armies were terrified by her arrival. They'd heard that Covid came from an old bat, and the last thing everyone there needs is a new variant.

• Ukraine's President Zelensky greeted Nancy Pelosi in Kiev when she paid a surprise visit and presented her with the order of Princess Olga, a Ukrainian civil honor. Ahead of the trip, Pelosi came to the war zone fully prepared. She had her plastic surgeon give her face the look of genuine shock.

• The White House engaged Homeland Security last week to monitor Twitter and combat the effect of Elon Musk opening Twitter to free speech for everyone. The president created a Disinformation Committee, which was promptly accused of lack of inclusion. So he created a Datinformation Committee.

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• Democratic activist Nina Jankowicz was named by the DHS to be Director of the Disinformation Board. TikTok shows Jankowicz singing a Mary Poppins song parody in which she lectures you not to post disinformation. Orthodox Easter is frequently followed by a heaping serving of Polish Fruitcake.

• The New York Post says Vladimir Putin is behaving erratically by sacking generals and ministers, eliminating old allies. He lost his temper watching Cossack Dancers perform at a Kremlin party and sent them to fight in Ukraine. Putin said for all the money he's paying them, they should dance standing up.

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