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Jewish World Review May 21, 2004 / 1 Sivan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Bill Clinton handed in the nine-hundred page manuscript of his autobiography "My Life" last week and he began preparing for his book tour. Women are a little nervous about buying it. The word is spreading like wildfire that it's a pop-up book.

The Washington Post is running The Boondocks comic strips that suggest Condi Rice is sleeping with the president. There has been no reaction from Republican or Democratic officials. They don't read the cartoons in Washington, they work for them.

The Lundberg Survey said gas prices topped two dollars per gallon Monday. It affects everything. Jet fuel is so high the Lakers have asked Lance Armstrong to help get Kobe Bryant back and forth from Colorado for the rest of the NBA playoffs.

Judy Woodruff on CNN covered voter anger over gas prices Tuesday. The people are taking action. California car dealers report a three-month waiting list for hybrids, which could be inspired by the governor who himself is half-man and half-robot.

NBC News said Monday Americans will pay another three hundred dollars a year for gasoline at prices above two dollars a gallon. Let's make it easy. Why doesn't Uncle Sam just cut out the middle man and send everybody's tax cut straight to Prince Bandar?

Alan Greenspan was nominated to a fifth term as the Federal Reserve Chairman on Tuesday. He knows just the forecasts Wall Street and Washington like to hear. Economists have one primary function and that is to make astrology look respectable.

The International Olympic Committee named New York a finalist for host city of the 2012 Olympics. It's very heartwarming. The IOC is the only organization that still operates on the premise that civilization will last another eight years.

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