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Jewish World Review May 5, 2004 / 14 Iyar, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Great White Sharks by the dozens descended on Malibu Monday and cleared away surfers at Will Rogers Beach. Their homing instincts are uncanny. The sharks were huge, they were hungry and, like Will Rogers, they never met a man they didn't like.


Smarty Jones captured the nation's fancy Saturday with his Kentucky Derby win at Churchill Downs. He's a crowd favorite and he's never lost a race. The next day on the campaign trail John Kerry chewed on carrots until his skin turned orange.


The Nebraska Cornhuskers drew sixty-one thousand fans on Saturday to see the spring game. The fans were told they would get to see the West Coast offense and the West Coast defense. Interest in the Michael Jackson trial is beginning to build.


John Kerry issued a new round of commercials Monday which salute his heroism in Vietnam. However, his commanding officer calls him a medal hound. John Kerry fell off his bicycle on Sunday in Massachusetts and put in for the Purple Knee.


The U.S. Navy found a wireless video camera hidden in the women's shower on a ship docked in San Diego. It's no shock. What do you expect from the branch of the service that named four destroyers and an aircraft carrier after the Kennedy family?


Bill Clinton dazzled a meeting of Random House executives Friday who are set to publish his memoir My Life. The title is bland. He had to settle on My Life after the Errol Flynn estate sued to keep him from calling it My Wicked, Wicked Ways.

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