Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Fox News saluted Elon Musk's commitment to change Twitter to a free-for all. Meanwhile CNN ripped Musk as a laughable attention junkie. If you combined the reactions of the left and right to Musk's purchase in one headline it'd read The World's Biggest Clown Buys the World's Largest Circus.

• Senator Elizabeth Warren addressed reporters In Washington Tuesday to sound the alarm about the danger of billionaires owning social media companies. Which one isn't? Elizabeth Warren is so upset about Elon Musk buying Twitter that she is leaving Twitter and going back to smoke signals.

• Variety quoted the outraged reaction by stars, directors and producers against Musk's purchase of Twitter. One vowed to move to Canada, another to New Zealand, and another to Australia. It's so funny how whenever Hollywood stars cry racism, they always threaten to move to the White Dominions.

• The White House noted that Title 42 is no longer needed at the border because Covid is over but insisted that masks are needed on planes because Covid is far from over. I think it highlights the good fortune of the Amish. They've never had a problem with Covid, because they don't watch television.

• The U.S. Capitol was swarmed TV reporters seeking lawmakers' reaction to Elon Musk opening Twitter to free speech. Some of the protests by progressives could pay off personally. Congressman Jerry Nadler wants Elon Musk to buy Ben and Jerry's because it's the only way he can stop eating ice cream.

• Joe Rogan signaled to Elon Musk that the public is on his side Tuesday when Rogan revealed he gained two million new viewers when the Left tried to cancel him two months ago. It also was over a free speech discussion. Next, Elon Musk should buy the New York Times and turn it into a newspaper.

• The Washington Post reports that Vice President Kamala Harris is now quarantined after testing positive for Covid Tuesday. Something's fishy. After all the departures from her staff, it's possible that Kamala caught Covid on purpose just to prove that one person is willing to get within six feet of her.

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• Florida's legislature declared war on Disney's pro-gay agenda by ending its theme park's special self-governing rights. Peace is possible. Chick-Fil-A ended its long feud with gays over marriage, and to make amends to the LGBTQ community, the restaurant introduced the Chick-on-Chick filet sandwich.

• Disney officials agreed to use Disney shows and movies to educate kids on the multiple options of sexual self-identity. Recently the skeletal remains of three gender-fluid, non-binary transsexual people were discovered. Forensic tests cannot tell us much at all about the victims, other than they are all male.

• The Census Bureau blamed the low U.S. birth rate on millennial men reluctant to commit and get married. As a bachelor Baby Boomer, I'm doing what I can to take up the slack, but it's an uphill climb. Today I asked Siri why young, millennial women won't date me, and it activated the front camera.

• The White House may agree to teachers' union request to slap diversity requirements on charter schools to end their federal funding. Even pre-school reading circles are indoctrination sessions that stifle independent thinking. The cows say moo, the cats say meow, and the sheep say it's all Putin's fault.

• Weather Channel reports a rare spring low pressure system coated Southern California, causing freak April showers that left L.A. with the fresh scent of a Southern spring day. Los Angeles looked beautiful on Sunday. After a rain shower late Sunday the skies were as clear as Johnny Depp's schedule.

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