Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

President Biden finished a speech at the White House Thursday then spun to his right and shook hands but no one was standing there. He shook hands with air. If Elon Musk buys Twitter for forty three billion, it’ll be the biggest overpayment since somebody offered Joe Biden a penny for his thoughts.

• The American Cancer Society pointed to the long-range weather forecast of hotter than normal summer temperatures Thursday to warn people to protect our skin from melanoma by utilizing a strong sun block. The most effective sun block in the world was invented in Ireland. They’re called pubs.

• The National Archives agreed to deliver the January 6th Congressional Committee more Trump White House records as House Democrats try to prove the insurrection was incited by the former president. Oh yes, we all remember January 6th of last year. It was two dollars and fifteen cents a gallon.

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• A Twitter vote shows seventy percent of Twitter users favored Musk’s takeover while mainstream media pundits lined up to oppose Musk and protect their control over social media opinion. No one’s ever seen such a shift in narratives. Suddenly, Progressives are no longer bragging about buying a Tesla.

• Tennessee state senator Frank Nicely debating a homeless bill said Adolf Hitler’s life was proof a homeless person can turn his life around. In 1945, Hitler sat down at a card table in his bunker, put a gun into his mouth, and pulled the trigger, greatly distressing his maid. She had JUST cleaned the walls.

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