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An updating, infuriating list of all the April Fools' pranks on the Internet in 2018

 Abby Ohlheiser & Cleve R. Wootson Jr.

By Abby Ohlheiser & Cleve R. Wootson Jr. The Washington Post

Published April 3,2018

April Fools' Day was on a Sunday and on Easter this year, which isn't the best scenario for all the thirsty brands looking to get their pranks into the weekday news cycle. Based on our email inbox, many of the brands have settled on the same workaround: Just start their jokes early.

As of the Wednesday before April Fools', brands had already launched a fake beer line, a study pillow and a salon that makes you look like your dog. April Fools' Day can be clever on the Internet - but it has also, increasingly, become a day where your social media feeds are flooded with on-brand corporate pranks, pleading for your retweets. A few brands are trying to grow their power by collaborating, which is worrying.

Here's our list of all the 2018 April Fools' Day online pranks.

Tech company pranks

• Reddit's April Fools' joke is still officially a mystery - but some evidence uncovered by Redditors suggests it MIGHT have something to do with this (https://www.reddit.com/r/aprilfools/comments/88rpe4/rsneksnek_what_we_know/) (or maybe the whole thing is, itself, a prank, who knows)

• Imgur isn't launching a streaming service

• Amazon Publishing isn't delivering actual authors to people's houses

• Fitbit isn't launching a dating app

• Netflix hasn't acquired the "personal autonomy" of Seth Rogen.

• Roku hasn't introduced socks that work as a remote control.

• Snapchat has a filter that makes it looks like Russian bots like your Facebook posts.

• IBM isn't launching a Model Q quantum keyboard

• Several subreddits on Reddit have some pretty clever April Fools' ideas: r/nosleep (a scary story subreddit) is now a Backstreet Boys fan page, and r/itookapicture has banned all . . . images.

• Razer isn't getting into nanobots.

• Discord's insane video announcing a new fake feature makes me start to sweat.

• Google maps is now a game of Where's Waldo.

• Pokemon GO switched to 8-bit graphics.

• Adobe isn't actually launching this new Illustrator feature for hungry designers.

• Google Israel isn't launching a hummus API.

• Google Japan hasn't invented a way to let you swipe your finger on your regular old keyboard to draw handwritten letters.

• Google Australia didn't team up with a popular Australian YouTuber to re-brand Google as "googz."

• Wikipedia has some subtle jokes in the trivia on their main page.

Fake cryptocurrencies

• Tumblr isn't launching a cryptocurrency called Tumblcoin

• Houzz isn't launching a cryptocurrency called "HouzzCoinzz"

• Sam's Club isn't launching a cryptocurrency called "bulkcoin"

• Hpnotiq, the liquor company, isn't launching a cryptocurrency called Hpno-Currency

Pet-themed pranks

• Children's Healthcare of Atlanta isn't also a vet's office now

• Everywair isn't a system for making sure your whole house smells like cat litter

• Facetune isn't making a version of their app for cats

• eHarmony isn't getting into dog matching.

• Petco isn't launching a salon that will make you over to look more like your pets, but someone probably will actually do this, one day.

• Wag! and Glamsquad have the exact same prank idea as Petco.

• This cat can't do Photoshop real good (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR36YKrASBY&feature=youtu.be).

• Rent the Runway isn't starting a rental service for dog clothes.

• A stock photo site doesn't just do free cat photos now.

Fake news

• Amazon's next headquarters is not going to be on Mars

• Disney didn't buy the WWE

• Lin Manuel Miranda isn't writing a musical adaptation of Tommy Wiseau's The Room

• Stephen King isn't running for Governor of Maine

• Anthony Davis did not shave his unibrow

• San Antonio's sister city isn't Wakanda

• Ken Jeong wasn't cast in an upcoming Indiana Jones film

• Ferris Bueller isn't getting rebooted

• The Tampa Bay Times wasn't just sold

• The Pittsburgh Steelers aren't putting their logo on both sides of the helmet

• This isn't a real trailer for a highly-anticipated DC comics adaptation

• The Denver Broncos' Von Miller wasn't traded to the Cleveland Browns

• CBC radio did this segment with an actor impersonating U.S. trade advisor Peter Navarro.

• PaulyD didn't cut his hair

• NPR's Sunday puzzle isn't ending after 30 years

• The U.S. Army isn't going to start delivering 3D-printed pizzas to soldiers by drone

• The BBC fell for this fake story about Brexit emoji (http://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-43610519/bbc-breakfast-falls-for-newspaper-s-april-fools-brexit-joke).

• The Marines are not renaming their drill instructors.

• Facebook isn't going to let you see who viewed your profile.

• Archaeologists haven't discovered porg bones.

• A Kraken hasn't been spotted on the Thames river in London. (this is a brand prank from Kraken rum)

Viral pranks on kids

• This kid got an "apple" phone for Easter.

• Grapes covered in chocolate egg wrappers :(

• Brussel sprout truffles.

• These kids went on an Easter egg hunt with no eggs to find.

Miscellaneous brand pranks

• Southwest Air isn't selling a virtual home assistant

• A DC-based solar company isn't opening up coal plants

• Charmin didn't launch a coffee line

• The new Sonic merch based on a meme version of a character is a joke

• Playstation isn't launching a board game

• The Lion King isn't coming to Antarctica

• Zazzle isn't doing a meme app

• This apparel that weighs nothing is fake

• Stonewall Kitchen isn't selling used jams

• Ikea isn't coming out with a combination dog collar-selfie stick, a phone-holding bed pillow, or any of these other screen-holding products

• This app won't teach you how to speak whale

• Funko isn't selling a spray that will protect collector's boxes from damage

• Siggi's is not launching fermented shark yogurt

• This AR app for business innovation is fake

• Playper isn't disrupting paper

• This is a fake credit union for millennials

• This meal delivery service for remote campsites isn't real (https://www.bioliteenergy.com/pages/backcountry-bites?utm_campaign=April+Fools+1+2018+%28KXPTY3%29&utm_medium=email&_ke=YWNjcmltbWluc0BtYWMuY29t&utm_source=MASTER+SEGMENT)

• Dollar Shave Club isn't introducing ghost pepper wipes

• Lush isn't selling beer bath bombs

• Walt Disney World isn't selling kale churros

• You can't buy this nitrous oxide speed booster for your 3D printer

• Smithfield hasn't launched bacon-flavored breakfast cereal.

• White Castle isn't getting into the onion-flavored whey protein business.

• VHS isn't making a comeback.

• Tongueprinting isn't the new fingerprinting.

• Planet Fitness doesn't have a new line of treadmills that are covered in grass and snow.

• Honda isn't launching a "sixth sense" app for people who are walking and checking their phones.

• Popchips isn't selling Unicorn Balls.

• You can't play these VR crossword puzzles.

• Evo isn't making a new app to "radify" your Instagram pictures.

• Tech21 isn't making a chocolate phone case.

• Redbox isn't launching walk-up movie theater booths.

• You can't actually use this Airbnb-like service to share a portion of a bed with someone.

• Head and Shoulders isn't launching a body wash called "Knees and Toes."

• Heinz isn't selling chocolate mayo in the U.K.

• Chuck E. Cheese's animatronics aren't going on a farewell tour.

• You can't buy meat flour.

• PornHub did not become HornHub, a site for instrument and antler enthusiasts.

• REI isn't introducing a new all-in-one piece of clothing that is covered in zippers.

• Dermalogica isn't re-naming their company to match how everyone mis-pronounces it.

• BritBox isn't launching a feature that lets you listen to American accents dubbed over British TV shows.

• You can't take this online course and learn how to survive the robot uprising.

• Shippo is going to ship a limited number of potatoes in the mail for people who sign up on April Fools' Day.

• Master and Dynamic aren't selling mood ring headphones.

• This online labels company isn't launching a virtual home assistant that can only buy you labels.

• Thinkgeek has nine fake products "for sale" on their site, including Klingon fridge magnets, a Rick and Morty screaming sun alarm clock, a Jurassic World dino detector system, and a Bluetooth-enabled pet rock.

• Virgin Australia isn't offering flights that have on-board spin classes.

• Lego isn't going to sell a vacuum that sorts bricks by color and shape.

• Burger King isn't launching a chocolate Whopper.

• The "Chegg osmosis pillow" won't help you nap and study.

• You can't buy this inflatable air hockey table.

• Duolingo isn't launching Brewolingo, a beer line.

• Mancrates isn't offering "porch piracy protection."

• GlassesUSA isn't selling eco-friendly glasses that can grow moss.

• This AI-powered moving assistant robot doesn't exist. Life Storage made it up.

• These "bunny-foraged herbs" are not for sale at Freshdirect.

• This watch dealer isn't selling a $50,000 sun-dial watch

• You can't hire these twin bodybuilders through Zappos to wear and "resize" your clothes by stretching them with their huge bodies.

• Logitech isn't launching "BS Detection" software to detect meaningless business jargon during conference calls.

• Sprint isn't launching a "magic" soccer ball that also improves your cell signal.

• T-Mobile isn't bringing back the "sidekick" as a tech-enabled shoe. (though it is selling a non-smart shoe you can buy for real.)

• This smart shoe is also fake.

• Virgin Voyages isn't launching underwater WiFi.

• These surround headphones aren't real.

• CarGurus won't let you shop for a car by engine sound.

• Jagermeister isn't launching a balm for muscle pain called "Jager balm."

• Newegg isn't getting into ASMR.

• A tech company in Boston isn't getting into unboxing vids.

• Of course these fried-food nutritional supplements are fake.

• Blase isn't the new rose.

• A dog-food company isn't branching out into people food.

• The founder of Bulletproof coffee isn't trying to get people to just use a stick of butter for lip balm.

• AI-enabled talking ATMs don't exist.

• Companies aren't building literal shrines to Google to get better search results rankings.

• These whiskey sports drinks are fake.

• Auntie Annie's isn't selling pretzel-scented essential oils.

• WestJet isn't launching a virtual assistant.

• Klein tools isn't also selling furniture.

• These chicks didn't hatch out of a prop Easter egg in a Honda somewhere in Canada.

• Wayfair isn't launching scent-enabled wallpaper.

• Sadly, you can't buy these insane hats for the royal wedding.

• This bike lock company isn't stealing bikes to try and sell locks

• This PR firm isn't announcing that toddlers, dogs and unborn babies are the new influencer group.

Brands collaborating

• Warby Parker and Arby's aren't collaborating on WArby's, which sells onion ring monocles

• Cup Noodles and Zenni Optical aren't coming out with glasses that don't get steamed up when you eat hot soup.

• Lexus and 23andme aren't partnering to match you to a car using your genes.

• This pizza-flavored protein bar is fake.

• Sodastream and Bed Bath and Beyond aren't teaming up to make "SodaSoak," a weird bubble bath.

• The Energizer Bunny isn't the new creative director of "Peeps." Come on.


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