Jewish World Review April 27, 2004 / 6 Iyar, 5764
important news ....
Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan was upbeat in House and Senate
testimony Tuesday and warded off perceptions he's over the hill.
Every time the seventy-eight-year-old banker walks into an
elevator, he gets the same thought. This place really rocks.
Detroit announced Sunday that SUVs and trucks account for
half of all U.S. auto sales. No one cares about record-high
gasoline prices. Giant tow trucks that used to transport three-
bedroom homes to new locations now run Saturday errands with them.
London veterinarians operated Wednesday on a German Shepherd
that ate twenty-eight golf balls. It's the reason why we still
need NATO. Every day we see more evidence of how the Germans are
fed up with the Anglo-Saxons and their little games.
John Kerry released his war records Tuesday to verify his
Purple Hearts. He killed about twenty men in Vietnam. John Kerry
would be the first president in a while to have personally killed
someone without hitting his drive into the gallery.
Senate Republicans announced Sunday they will hold hearings
in four different committees this week on the importance of
marriage. The committees are Health, Finance, Commerce and
Judiciary. No, check that, those are the four stages of marriage.
The U.N. blueprint for an Iraqi government was unveiled Sunday, which calls for a prime minister, a president, two vice presidents, and a cabinet divided among all the parties. It's way too many offices. When Saddam Hussein returns to power, he will have to hang so many people he will be forced to ask the U.N. for an Oil-for-Rope program.
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