Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Academy Awards emcee Amy Schumer suggested that Ukraine President Zelensky perform one of his stand-up comedy bits via satellite for the Oscars. It's a smart idea, he should do it. There are a lot of producers in the Oscars audience and he might have to fall back on his old career any day now.

• President Biden was scheduled to fly to Brussels for talks with NATO nation leaders this week and add a side trip to Poland. His war aims are crystal clear. The Biden administration's declared goal is to force Vladimir Putin to step down from office and replace him with a qualified black woman.

• Vladimir Putin ramped up his attacks on Ukraine by firing air-to-ground missiles from airplanes inside Russian airspace due to the stalled ground war. Already three Russian generals have been lost fighting against the Ukrainians. The last time this many generals lost it was to the Harlem Globetrotters.

• Russia banned Facebook from operating in Russia Monday under Russia's new Anti-Extremism Law. The country now has no Facebook, no Instagram, no McDonald's, no Coca-Cola, no Tik-Tok and no Porn Hub. In just three months Russia could replace Disneyland as the Happiest Place on Earth.

• The White House said U.S. sanctions have brought the Russian economy to its knees, but Russian exports such as call girls are still being smuggled into the U.S. through the Port of L.A. Last night when the pizza guy arrived at my front door he offered me two optional toppings. They were Tatiana and Olga.

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• Ukraine's fierce Azhov Brigade are battling the Russians in the besieged city of Mariupol. Some of the battalion wear Nazi insignia. The soldiers in the Azhov Brigade said they are not offended by the name Nazis, they insisted they are just indigenous Europeans displaying tribal pride in their team.

• China authorities said its China Eastern airliner crash was likely caused by a computer problem in the cockpit. I don't believe a word this regime says. First China tells us that they're not backing Russia in Ukraine and now they try to tell us that a planeload of Asians can't solve a computer problem.

• Singapore's anticrime crackdown proceeded with the arrest of thirty-two men for being members of unlawful societies Monday. I saw video of a Singapore cop grinning from ear to ear as he whipped a street protestor with a cane. It reminded me that if you love your job, you never work a day in your life.

(COMMENT, BELOW)