Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The Wall Street Journal tallied up countries that have sanctioned Putin Tuesday. So far Russia has been sanctioned by CNN, Porn Hub, Facebook, Coca-Cola and McDonalds. If the sanctions keep up at the current rate, in six weeks time, Russia will be the healthiest and most well-adjusted country in the world.

• Poland's government on Tuesday offered to send to Ukraine a fleet of Russian-made MIG fighter jets via the NATO air base in Germany without any consultation with the U.S.. There's now a run on tents at L.A. sporting goods stores. They are atomic bomb shelters for people who believe that masks work.

• Kamala Harris in Poland is reported likely to review peace offers to try to get Putin to pull out of Ukraine. One idea gives Russia the eastern slice of Ukraine in a Quid Pro Quo for Ukraine being independent but non-NATO. Kamala Harris thinks Quid Pro Quo is the Chinese ambassador to the UN.

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• The London Daily Mail reports twenty thousand veteran military fighters from all over the world have formed an International Brigade to gather in Ukraine and fight against the Russians. I don't think it's a good idea for Americans to volunteer. We already fought a war against obesity and lost badly.

• The Academy Awards won't air the technical awards this year so actors and writers and directors can have even more TV camera time. Hollywood is the world capital for neurotic narcissists riddled with high ego and low self-esteem. Our town motto is, I may not be much, but I'm all I ever think about.

• The NFL hosted its annual college player combine in Indianapolis last weekend. The shortage of draft-worthy quarterbacks is sparking reports that Tom Brady might un-retire and play one more year at the age of 45. There's nothing else for him to do now, he's thirty-five years too young to be president.

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