Being a World Class Grandparent

I have been a grandparent for nineteen years and am blessed to have nine grandchildren ranging in age from 19 to 4. Being a good grandparent is a lot easier than being a good parent. It takes much less work and time and resources. I have crafted a set of suggestions for how to become a world class grandparent.

Understand and adhere to your children's rules for their children. Consistency is very important for kids so you should know what boundaries your children have set when it comes to computer use, television watching, food, bedtime, among other issues. Grandchildren may try to play their parents off against grandparents so it is important not to fall into a trap.

Give unqualified love. Parental love sometimes seems to be qualified. Many children feel: my parents love me if I get good grades, if I go to bed on-time, if I am good at sports, if I am never a problem. Grandparents can and should be the people who give unqualified love. We love our grandkids if they are good, bad, or ugly. This unqualified love can be a huge source of emotional support in the life of a child and will be remembered for their entire lives.

Grandparents should always give grandchildren confidence. We are cheerleaders. We need to make every child feel super-special. In large or blended families a child can feel left out. Grandparents are there to make each child feel like he or she is the most talented and loved person in the world.

A grandparent's home should be a place of quiet. Home can be a noisy place and sometimes it is full of conflict and anger. A grandparent's home should be a refuge from noise and conflict. It should be a place where kids always feel safe, where they can get away from the pressures of school and home.

Grandparents can also be teachers. A loving grandparent should not hesitate to try to teach new things to grandchildren whether throwing a football or baseball or help with algebra. Opening new worlds in nature, sports, crafts or the arts creates a special bond.

Grandparents should make their home a place where kids can explore new things. Try not to rely on the television as a babysitter. Have arts and crafts at your home. Have reading material and athletic equipment. Make your place "Fun City".

Being a good grandparent is also being a good parent. You can give your children a break by taking the grands for a weekend or babysitting on a Saturday night so your children can have a date night.

Never yell at or threaten a grandchild. They will remember such behavior all their lives. Unqualified love is the most important thing you can give your grandchildren, even when they may be difficult and you are tired.

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Chris Gersten was Director of the Office of Refugee Resettlement in the Department of Health and Human Services from 1989 until 1993. He is also a former political director of AIPAC.