The resignation of U.S. Rep. Aaron "Abs of Steel" Schock should come as no surprise.
At least Schock has two things going for him:
He's got great abs. And those of us who are challenged in the great abs department -- I protect mine by wrapping them in fat -- can appreciate perfection.
And the other thing is what Schock said himself: He's not some old crusty white guy.
Some think Schock's troubles started with the ridiculous and costly "Downton Abbey" makeover of his
Others figure it was Schock's ostentatious reading of style and gossip magazines, with photographs showing him thumb through them as if he were some kind of star-struck teenage girl.
Others say it's the lavish spending trips, dinners and
But at least he's not some old crusty white guy.
He said as much in that famous
Schock: "I've never been an old crusty white guy."
Zeleny: "What does that mean?"
Schock: "I'm different. I came to
Haters are going to hate, but what did old crusty white guys do to
Now I'm wondering if Schock doesn't wish he were an old crusty white guy, or an old crusty black guy. Or an old crusty Latino, or crusty old Asian guy for that matter.
Old crusty politicians are smart enough not to decorate their offices to resemble a hit TV show. And there's another thing old crusty guys don't do:
They don't model their abs of steel in
"I was walking through
What did you see?
"That magazine cover with Schock flexing his abs, and like every other Republican with a brain, I was like 'Bleep me.'"
That's why I asked editors to attach that famous Schock abs cover to this column, to remind us of the dangers of narcissism in politicians. In the photo, Schock also has his shirt unbuttoned. And he's unloosened his tie.
Let's put it this way: He doesn't look like he's about to study ISIS-related cables or ask about corn and wheat subsidies.
From the article:
"And model he does. When he strolls into a
Fly for a
Come to think of it, I've never seen
And former House Speaker
The late Republican Sen.
And among Democrats, the late Mayor
Clearly, they are not fly enough.
I do remember political figure and former
He told U.S. District Judge
"I was told maybe I wasn't taking enough showers and to buy a bar of soap," Segal said, unbuttoning his federal orange jumpsuit. "I was in immense pain. When the rash goes to your private parts and the rest of your body, it's not comfortable."
What's the moral of this story?
But what about prosecutors? Are prosecutors gonna prosecute?
I guess we'll have to wait. Just keep your shirts on.