Jewish World Review March 30, 2004 /8 Nisan, 5764
important news ....
The New York Yankees open their season today in Japan. The
Japanese sympathize with American baseball's current dilemma.
Japan dumped all their steroids into Tokyo Bay fifty years ago and
the result was a decade of really bad science fiction movies.
Three Mile Island observed the twenty-fifth anniversary
Sunday of the nuclear power plant's near meltdown. There was panic
at the time. Today Americans don't see any problem with trusting
their lives to an industry whose best-known employee is Homer Simpson.
Saddam Hussein's French defense attorney announced Sunday
that President Bush is guilty of war crimes in Iraq. He wants the
president handed over to the World Court. Before that happens,
Condoleezza Rice will announce she's pregnant with Richard
Clarke's love child.
Richard Clarke told CNN's Judy Woodruff Sunday he believes
al-Qaeda will hit New York or Washington D.C. because they are
high-value targets. What an analyst this guy is. Predicting that
al-Qaeda is going to hit New York and Washington D.C. is like
predicting that the Florida Marlins are going to win last year's
John Kerry stopped at a pancake house in Missouri Sunday to
shake hands with folks. Their hands were sticky from waffle syrup
and his hands were sticky from twenty years in the Senate. It took
rescue crews working with the Jaws of Life two hours to pry them
Rudy Giuliani was reported Sunday to be considering a run
for the U.S. Senate against Hillary Clinton. It is one tough
state. To make it in New York politics at this level, you have to
have either convicted John Gotti or married Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton stole the show at the Democratic Party Unity
Dinner Thursday night in Washington. We may never see his like
again. Bill Clinton will always remind us of a happier time when
naked aggression had nothing to do with U.S. foreign policy.
Hispanic demonstrators surrounded the suburban home of White House adviser Karl Rove near Washington D.C. Sunday. Hundreds of Mexicans poured out of buses, pounded on his windows, and demanded he support legal rights for illegal immigrants. It's a cautionary tale to the rest of the nation that life in Los Angeles isn't all romance.
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