Jewish World Review March 1, 2004 /8 Adar, 5764
important news ....
The Draft Hillary organization set up shop in Massachusetts
Friday. They are asking voters to write in her name on Tuesday's
primary ballot. They don't think Teresa Heinz Kerry is imperious
enough to satisfy America's secret longing for a queen.
Pakistan stepped up military operations at the border Friday
to try to track down Osama bin Laden. According to intelligence
reports, he is hiding in some place where no U.S. soldier will
ever find him. Osama bin Laden is in Haiti.
Michael Jackson was stopped by police in Colorado Friday
after he shopped at a Wal-Mart while wearing a ski mask and a
worker called the cops. Coloradans were not happy he was there.
Football coach Gary Barnett said not only is he a girl, he's terrible.
CNN sponsored a Democratic party presidential debate Thursday
at the University of Southern California. John Kerry and John
Edwards sat shoulder-to-shoulder and smiled the entire evening. It
looked like they just fell off a gay wedding cake.
The Democratic presidential debate in Los Angeles Thursday
featured some unexpected fireworks. Recalled governor Gray Davis
was an invited guest in the audience. After the debate they put
him in a plastic box and blew him up to remove the curse.
Baltimore Ravens star running back Jamal Lewis was indicted
on conspiracy to purchase cocaine Thursday. It's a never-ending
story. If NFL players don't get their acts together by next
season, first downs will be measured by real chain gangs.
Winston Churchill was honored on Thursday at Cuba's cigar festival as one of the great cigar smokers in history. The island is famous for its rich tobacco blends. Cuba's cigars are so good they are used as a recruiting ploy by the Taliban.
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