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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Feb. 21, 2022

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
Hillary Clinton spoke at the New York Democratic Convention and ripped Fox News for reporting how her campaign initiated the Trump-Russia hoax. Also Wikileaks should be ashamed for exposing her illegal activities. Hillary will go down in history as the first Methodist ever to head a major crime family.

New York City's new African American Mayor Eric Adams went off the rails Wednesday, calling his coverage by New York reporters racist. Last week Mayor Adams was forced to apologize after he referred to white people as Crackers, which so offended me. We Episcopalians prefer to be called Wafers.

The Wall Street Journal reported an alarming assessment by the International Monetary Fund and the CIA revealing a historic shift in wealth. It revealed that China is now the world's largest economy. No need to worry, thanks to McDonald's and Pizza Hut, we are still the world's largest people.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau ordered striking truckers rounded up, suspended their rights and seized their bank accounts. It's given Mel Brooks the inspiration to write a new Broadway musical comedy called Springtime for Justin in Ottawa. Investors will own 6000 percent of the show by Tuesday.

My Pillow Guy Mike Lindell was halted by Canadian border officers and denied entry to Canada Wednesday while trying to bring pillows and Bibles to the striking truck drivers in Ottawa. What on earth was Mike thinking? He's old enough to know that Bibles are not allowed in communist countries.

Kamala Harris met with NATO in Europe to try to stop Russia from seizing the ethnic-Russian slice of Ukraine. Ukraine is thirty percent Russian speaking. If Kamala does as good a job protecting their border as she does protecting the U.S. border, Ukraine will soon be thirty percent Spanish speaking.

Mexico's president ripped the U.S. for banning the import of Mexican avocados prior to the Super Bowl over conditions at U.S. avocado plant in Mexico. So let the games begin. U.S. Border agents last week arrested Mexican smugglers who hid avocados inside kilos of cocaine so they wouldn't be noticed.

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President Biden was urged by Democratic strategists Friday to stop blaming the high price of gas on supply chain problems and exploit the domestic oil we can drill. Oil is approaching one hundred dollars a barrel. To put that in perspective, a Bitcoin will now only buy twenty barrels and a U.S. senator.

CDC Director Rochelle Walensky declared Wednesday Covid is no longer a constant emergency to Americans. The same day, three San Francisco School Board members were recalled for leftist curricula and mask mandates. It's the first sign the virus has mutated into the Midterm Election Variant.

The Dallas Cowboys settled out of court with four Cowboys cheerleaders who alleged that a team executive entered their locker room while they were showering and will pay them four million dollars. The team executive made a real name for himself. He's expected to be drafted by CNN in the first round.

President Biden told NBC Thursday he's ensuring there are plenty of vaccines, boosters and masks, and expressed exasperation over people's impatience to get back to normal. After all, if a president says he'll end the pandemic, he'll end the pandemic. There's no need to remind him every twelve months.

North Korea's Kim Jung Un broke ground Monday on a huge ten-thousand-apartment complex in Pyongyang. In addition, North Korea just launched its own streaming version of Netflix and called it Man-Bang. Just on the name, they already have forty-thousand subscribers in West Hollywood alone.

Queen Elizabeth marks the seventieth anniversary of her accession to the throne this month. The Royal Family is always good for some tabloid enjoyment. Long lines are forming outside Buckingham Palace as Prince Andrew is reported to be giving out huge sums of money to people he never met before.

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