Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Punxsutawney Phil was watched by the hometown crowd this morning where the groundhog's shadow signaled the remaining length of winter. It never fails. In that spirit President Biden came out of the White House this morning and saw his shadow and that means six more weeks of shootings.

• The Super Bowl in two weeks will air on NBC which is charging six million dollars for a thirty second ad. Millions of people tune in just to watch the funniest commercials made all year. It's rumored Doritos has hired Aaron Rodgers to endorse a new extra salty Dorito chip called Nacho Year.

• The Weather Channel reported a monster snow storm that blew into the Eastern Seaboard and an accompanying cold front that's frozen the South. It was reported Sunday it's so cold in South Florida that iguanas are falling from trees. It's all so dismaying, first Covid, now Reptile Dysfunction.

• Joe Rogan backtracked Monday saying he's just a podcast interviewer without mentioning his anti-vax or pro-Ivermectin stance. It has everyone in New York City taking sides. The Gambino crime family is threatening to pull Frank Sinatra's music off Spotify unless Neil Young gets whacked.

• The Women of the View disbelieved Joe Rogan's apology Monday, citing his anti-vaccine views and his pro-Ivermectin treatment stance.Rogan is a libertarian and they have one principle that's embraced by every driver in L.A. Don't use your turn signal, it's nobody's business where you're going.

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• The White House hosted a meeting of the nation's governors Monday who urged the president to start the end game for the corona virus regulations. I test others for corona virus all the time. Whenever someone tells me one of my jokes is tasteless, I take it as the first sign that they have Covid.

• President Biden gave a well received speech in Pittsburgh, vowing to start a Made in America drive. It's to encourage manufacturers to make products here. The worst thing about our huge deficit in the U.S. balance of trade is that even America's number-one cause of death is Made in China.

• Prince Harry and Meghan pointedly did not criticize Spotify when they weighed in against Joe Rogan's podcast considering Spotify paid the couple $25 million for just one special. Harry and Meghan turn out to be pretty smart. They've actually figured out a way to work even less than royalty.

• Prince Andrew said he will insist on an American jury for any trial about his Jeffrey Epstein connections. The death of Prince Philip and the stripping of Andrew and Harry of their titles leaves England without the Duke of York, the Duke of Sussex and the Duke of Edinburgh. I don't want to alarm the Mother Country, but they are now open again to Viking marauders on their eastern flank.

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