Jewish World Review Feb. 23, 2003 / 1 Adar, 5764
important news ....
The Johnny Cash estate halted Preparation H from using the
song Ring of Fire as a hemorrhoid commercial jingle. The company
is stuck. Only one other song would work and Steve Martin told
them not to even think about Walk Like an Egyptian.
The Secret Service began protecting John Kerry Friday and
offered protection to John Edwards. It's in the best interests of
the nation. If those two guys kill each other, Dennis Kucinich
could be the next president of the United States.
John Kerry was endorsed by the AFL-CIO on Friday despite his
support of free trade. He can't help it. When prep schoolers have
to live on government salaries they will do whatever it takes to
bring the price of polo shirts down to two dollars.
John Kerry spent Friday defending past votes and remarks on
the floor of the U.S. Senate. No one should be judged for what
goes on in the Senate. Every fifteen minutes somebody gets up and
says nothing, nobody listens, then everybody disagrees.
The Sierra Club is holding elections which may elect anti-
immigrant activists to the board. They worry how immigration
affects the air, the trees and the streams. You can't make it up,
some members warned that the Sierra Club is being hijacked by outsiders.
Laura Bush visited a magnet school in Las Vegas Thursday
where the students study technology. The goal is to teach job
skills for the 21st century. At the end of each semester all the
students are expelled and replaced by students in India.
Mardi Gras got underway in New Orleans Saturday. The parade
winner this year was the Metarie Parish Women's Marching Band.
Prior to surgery the exact same sixty people won the competition
last year as the Metarie Parish Men's Marching Band.
Howard Dean speaking to teary-eyed supporters in Vermont
Wednesday delivered an eloquent speech announcing his withdrawal
from the Democratic race. He still has a future in presidential
politics. He lost so badly it impressed the Green Party.
The Louisville Slugger Museum Wednesday received a bat used by Babe Ruth. He used the bat during his last full season in the majors. You can tell the bat was used toward the end of his career because Mike Ditka's name is burned on the barrel.
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