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Jewish World Review Feb. 20, 2003 / 28 Shevat, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Washington D.C. madam Angelika Potter had her entire book of clients posted on the Internet Wednesday. There were eight thousand pages. Republicans were quick to point out that the contest for the Democratic nomination is now between two Johns.


John Edwards did fundraisers Thursday to pay for Super Tuesday ads. It costs a lot of money to campaign in New York and L.A. You can buy an entire TV station in New Hampshire for what it costs to rent out ad space on Paris Hilton's headboard.


John Kerry said in his victory speech Tuesday everyone loves his wife Teresa and everyone wants to meet her. He said people are disappointed when he shows up without her. This is the video clip that would tell Columbo who killed Teresa Heinz.


Teresa Heinz winced visibly Tuesday when John Kerry tried to kiss her after his Wisconsin victory speech. She would be a great first lady. Hillary Clinton talked about health care for all Americans but Teresa Heinz can actually pay for it.


Howard Dean dropped out of the Democratic race Wednesday. He was the presumptive nominee in December but by mid-February he was out. The Justice Department wants to know who tipped off Martha Stewart to sell her Howard Dean stock before Christmas.


President Bush said he's bothered by the gay weddings in San Francisco. The town is nuts. The city workers' health plan pays for sex change operations for all city employees, yet they are suing the city because the plan only gives them two choices.


The Red Cross said Wednesday it is waiting to fix a date with U.S. authorities in Iraq to check out Saddam Hussein. In a way, it's a pilgrimage. Everybody in the blood business is required to make one visit in their lifetime to Saddam Hussein.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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