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Jewish World Review Feb. 16, 2000/ 10 Shevat, 5760
LET ME SHARE WITH YOU an experience I recently had at a local toy store.
“I’d like to buy a toy for a five year old,” I optimistically said to the sales clerk.
“What kind of a toy?” she asked me.
“Oh I don’t know,” I said vaguely. “Just a toy. I’ll know what I want when I see it.”
She was clearly not pleased with my response. “Well, what kind of skills would you like the toy to promote?”
“Skills?” I repeated stupidly.
“Yes, skills” she answered. “You know, language skills, computer skills, socialization skills.
The salesperson peered at me closely, as though trying to detect if I was pulling her leg. She seemed not to have come to a conclusion, when she finally called out to the manager.
“ I have a customer here who wants a toy that doesn’t teach a child anything. Do we have something like that in stock?”
Not only the manager, but several customers turned to look at me. Was I relic from the past? Someone who had trouble grasping the demands of children today or simply a genuine eccentric? No one knew what to make of my request.
Perhaps these kinds of exchanges are now inevitable, as the time for children to daydream and fantasize, and engage in play which comes forth solely from their imagination slowly slips away (with relatively little attention given to its demise).
But the absence of time for free play in children’s busy schedules deprives them of the opportunity to fantasize, daydream, or simply do nothing. Unfortunately, in our goal oriented society, not being “productive” is often considered suspect—even among those of us whose age has not yet reached double digits.
Parents can help counter this troubling trend by setting aside a period of free time for children each day. Remember that out of boredom frequently comes creativity, which gives children a chance to surprise themselves with what they just might
Whatever happened to playing for playing's sake?
By Dr. Janice Cohn
“I don’t really want Amanda to learn any skills in particular. I just want something that’s fun.” I insisted.
Today, learning and acquiring concrete skills has become the focus of many young children’s lives—children who have yet to enter kindergarten or first grade. Encouraging young children to simply play and daydream is becoming an increasingly rare occurrence. We now expect children to play and learn at the same time. Educational toys and hardware are currently the “hot sellers” for children in pre-school through third grade. And the target group for these products seems to be getting younger (approximately nine to eighteen months). 
During this special period children are not allowed to watch television, videos or turn on the computer. Be prepared. This will, in many families cause howls of protest on the part of the potential beneficiaries of this experiment. Do not give in. Often, these days, a child’s announcement that he or she is bored conjures up feelings of considerable guilt on the part of parents who seem to feel they are responsible for immediately alleviating this state of affairs by suggesting, or actually providing immediate entertainment or distraction for children. 
JWR contributor Dr. Janice Cohn, a psychotherapist, is Chief of Consultation and Education at the Department of Psychiatry, Newark Beth Israel Medical Center. The author of Raising Compassionate, Courageous Children in a Violent World , she is also in private practice in New York City and Montclair, New Jersey. Send your comments by clicking here.
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