Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Taco Bell unveiled a first-of-its kind customer subscription promotion Thursday which will be closely watched by the rest of the fast food industry. It's sure to be popular. For ten dollars you get to eat a burrito every day for thirty days, and for twenty dollars you don't have to eat anything at all.

• Staples office supply reports they are selling a lot more home and business planning calendars for 2022 than last year, indicating public optimism that life will be returning to normal. My calendar shows Sunday was Science Fiction Day. Its purpose is to raise awareness of global warming.

• New York City's new mayor is warring with the Manhattan DA's refusal to prosecute crimes of poverty. The town's gone insane. In New York, at breakfast time you can rob a bank, and be released without bail at lunchtime, but at dinnertime you cannot eat at McDonald's without a vaccination card.

• Hunter Biden's ex-wife Kathleen's memoir of their failed marriage is published in June. She wrote he spent their money on drugs, hookers, alcohol, and strip clubs. Forget your cell phone coverage, 5G refers to the amount of blow Hunter did when he heard his ex-wife was writing a tell-all.

• President Biden's approval hit a low Monday as his vaccination policy faltered, his ambitious legislative agenda sank, the Supreme Court struck down his mandates, and inflation hit a forty-year high. Joe must drop Build Back Better for Trump Back on Twitter. It's his only chance of re-election.

• The Supreme Court on Thursday decided to strike down President Biden's authority to order large U.S. corporations to require their employees to get vaccinated. The opponents of getting vaccinated are a hearty breed. Two death row inmates in Oklahoma requested a firing squad instead.

• White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reacted to the Supreme Court ruling saying they will continue to encourage vaccine mandates. Joe Biden wasn't alarmed by the six-to-three vote against him, and refused to concede defeat. He's still waiting for the postman to deliver the mail-in opinions.

• President Biden's poll numbers took a hit over his faltering Covid policies Monday. His White House made plans to mail five hundred million home testing kits to Americans but no plan to distribute the viral treatment pills. Laurel and Hardy looked better pushing that piano up the staircase.

• Ghislaine Maxwell was moved to her own cell after her conviction for pimping underage girls for Jeffrey Epstein and his unnamed powerful political friends. She knows them all. Next week, I fully expect to hear that Ghislaine Maxwell just died in her jail cell from a self-inflicted missile strike.

• The CDC stood by the need to wear cloth masks Wednesday, admitting they plan to recommend thicker masks soon. Virologists say the variants are agile in their ability to infect. In response to college boys laughing off the threat of infection, the virus just formed a sorority called Delta Omicron.

• The Labor Department published its consumer price index Wednesday showing inflation rose in December at the highest rate in forty years. Yesterday, I was robbed at gunpoint while pushing a wheelbarrow full of cash to the grocery store. The robber left me the cash and took the wheelbarrow.

• Maryland surgeons performed a transplant surgery Sunday successfully placing a genetically modified pig's heart into a human being. The very next day, a pig received a genetically-modified heart from a U.S. Congressman. Now it has expert advice on how to stick its nose into a lot of troughs.

• Digital Information World published a survey of fifteen thousand American households which found sixty-two percent of Americans use only cell phones. The survey found that thirty-six percent of Americans use land line phones as well. I still have a land line or as I call it, the Cell Phone Finder.

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• The Georgia Bulldogs beat the heavily favored Alabama Crimson Tide in Indianapolis Monday night to win the college football championship title game. The game wasn't even close at the end. Alabama fans haven't been this mad since they moved the Sudafed to behind the counter at WalMart.

• The Wall Street Journal took note of Biden's poll numbers Wednesday and expressed its belief that a Hillary Clinton re-match with Donald Trump in 2024 is taking shape. I can't wait. Each day I'll be watching the cable news channels to see which chapter of Revelation we'll be re-enacting today.

• President Biden's job approval rating tumbled to a dismal thirty-three percent in Wednesday's poll. Georgia Democratic governor candidate Stacey Abrams declined to appear with Joe for his Atlanta speech. If Stacey wins, Joe will return to Georgia, to see how they're doing without federal aid.

• Maryland surgeons performed a transplant surgery Sunday successfully placing a genetically modified pig's heart into a human being. The very next day, a pig received a genetically-modified heart from a U.S. Congressman. Now it has expert advice on how to stick its nose into a lot of troughs.

• Digital Information World published a survey of fifteen thousand American households which found sixty-two percent of Americans use only cell phones. The survey found that thirty-six percent of Americans use land line phones as well. I still have a land line or as I call it, the Cell Phone Finder.

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