5 signs you're married but don't really have a spouse

You know what it means to be a spouse. But that doesn't mean they do. How can you tell if the one you married knows how to fulfill the vows made to you? Here are five signs you're married but you don't truly have a life-partner:

1. They don't ask what you want or need

A disconnected spouse is not concerned about what you wants and need. They don't know what you want out of life and love and isn't interested in finding out. They may intermittently listen if you directly tell them what you want, but they rarely actually addresses the request. And they certainly don't dig deeper to find out hidden needs you don't openly verbalize. This kind of partner can never fully satisfy your needs because they don't know them and doesn't want to.

2. They don't do anything special for you

You don't have a real spouse if they don't do anything special for you. And it's not just the lack of effort to make you feel loved --- the internal absence of motivation to express affection is the bigger problem. If they don't feel obligated to do anything nice, special or meaningful for you it means he doesn't appreciate you. There isn't concern about how you feel about them or the relationship, so there is a complete absence of grand gestures and small acts of service that have sentimental value to you.

3. They don't talk to you

They don't tell you where they're going or when they'll be back. Don't discuss things with you before making big decisions.They refuse to speak to you when in your presence, and don't respond to texts or phone calls. They're only a spouse in title if they have no issue ignoring you when you are right next to each other. They feel no obligation to interact or engage with you at all unless he wants something from you, or wants to tell you something. Of course, this means they don't listen either. You're pretty much invisible until they has a need to be fulfilled.

4. They expect you to quietly follow

You don't have a real spouse if they expect you to do whatever they wants, whenever they wants. They expect you to cater to them, and anticipate future needs without voicing any of your own. You shouldn't have your own opinions, wants or personality, let alone independence.

They run the marriage as a business; minimizing expenditures and maximizing profits. You respond like a charity; giving selflessly and taking little to nothing in return. In this manner, you are treated as an employee and their worker. This requires cooperation with whatever they asks or demand, and is uninterested in differing opinions, suggestions or resistance.

5.They don't see you as an equal

Furthermore, your spouse doesn't understand their role as a life-partner if they don't see you as an equal they need to share their life with. They neither need to respect or include you in any dealings since you are not partners in their mind. They expect subordination, control, and a childlike obedience to his orders and commands. They may genuinely believe their gender are better or smarter, so they need to be led. Or they may believe they are simply more capable and intelligent than you in particular. Either way, this is not the making of a real marriage and is not the mindset of a real spouse.

Marriage is meaningful to you, but going from bride and groom to spouse is not an easy transition for some.

If you realize you are in a marriage all by yourself you may need some professional advice to move forward. If you do choose to move on, noticing these traits in future partners will help steer you away from similar situations, and help you recognize a real spouse who takes his title seriously and commits to his vows.