Jewish World Review Jan. 3, 2005 / 22 Teves, 5765
important news ....
The Orange Bowl hosts the national championship game Tuesday
between USC and Oklahoma. How big are these programs? This game is
for people who are tired of watching man versus nature on the news
every day and want to see some real conflict.
The USC Trojans held a team practice in Fort Lauderdale
Wednesday where they received a visit from O.J. Simpson. It was
brief. He tried to give the team some pointers but the players
weren't that interested in where Scott Peterson went wrong.
Washington D.C. signed a stadium deal with Major League
Baseball Wednesday and construction began. It'll be built in the
city's prostitution district. To honor the neighborhood heritage,
the stadium will be known as the House that Ruth Operated.
San Francisco was cut off from the Sierras Thursday by a
snowstorm that buried Northern California. The storm signaled the
return of El Nino. Los Angeles got so much rainfall Monday that
Kobe Bryant accused Aquaman of hitting on his wife.
NASA scientists were quoted Wednesday saying there is a one-
in-three-hundred chance of a newly discovered meteor slamming into
the earth in thirty-six years. It's good to have early warning.
Now we all know not to vacation on earth that week.
Bill Clinton urged the White House Tuesday to name someone
to head the money round-up for South Asia and not just pay lip
service to relief efforts. This is another flip-flop for the
Democrats. Bill Clinton just came out against lip service.
The U.S. Navy acknowledged Thursday that it might yield to
budget pressure and retire the USS John F. Kennedy. The aircraft
carrier is obviously haunted. The ship starts spinning like a top
whenever it gets within reach of the Virgin Islands.
Ramsey Clark announced Thursday he will represent Saddam
Hussein. It brought supporters to tears. Saddam believed if you
build a man a fire he will be warm all evening, but if you set a
man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Hillary Clinton was named Most Admired Woman in America in
the Gallup Poll. She is for tax cuts and a balanced budget, she
favored the Iraq war and opposes illegal immigration. In addition
to believing she could run for president and win, she's apparently
made a side bet with somebody that she can carry Mississippi.
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